


Severus and the Thunderbird

by Hfflanders



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 05:23:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21094094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hfflanders/pseuds/Hfflanders
Summary: Severus Snape is the man in the plan. He doesn't know the whole plan. Yet he orchestrates it. Alone and living in solitude. He does fairly well in secrecy. Mostly because he has to. Becoming his friend or lover would be dangerous. Much too dangerous for anyone to cross the divide.But he meets a woman named Seren, a bold Thunderbird who has no fear. Can they maintain a relationship with no feelings involved? Can her company keep him grounded without compromising the plan?





	1. The Set Up

He needed a drink. He needed a break. To be away from the castle and all his responsibilities. He needed to be where no one knew him and no one demanded something from him. He was tired of covering for Lupin, but at the same time knowing that he couldn't help what happened to him. The continual giving was depleting him. 

He didn't want to have any bit of compassion for Remus, after all the years he spent ignoring his friends assaults. Everyday having to see his face as he became the student's favorite. Remembering how he and his friends made his own life a living hell. For fun. Remus couldn't get a pass for that simply because he was afflicted. It wasn't fair. 

He took a deep breath. Most of life wasn't fair. 

He walked into a small grungy pub near his family home in Cokesworth. He drew in a heavy breath at the nostalgia that ran through his body at being so close to home. So close to the old trauma. Always surrounded by memories no matter where he went. However, no one knew him there anymore, which was exactly what he wanted. No expectations. 

The lighting glowed hazy, the tables all filled with arrogant, twenty something footballers, one seat available at the shiny mahogany bar; the other stool in the corner occupied by a woman with stomach length deep burgundy curls and a long plum hooded cloak. 

He sat down on the stool beside her, looking straight ahead at the wall full of various bottles varying in size and color. His penchant for a quick shot of whiskey made all the choices void. 

"What'll you have mate?" asked the bartender, his tee shirt emblazoned with the Weird Sisters faces. 

It was refreshing to have no one here refer to him as Professor or assume they knew anything about him. Here, he was just a face. 

"Fire whiskey. On the rocks please" he told him, pulling out a book to read as well 

He knew this bar was safe for wizards because his father had never been aware of its existence. He commented on the decay of the building often but Severus always saw a bustling crowd. 

He watched as the woman's pen rolled to the floor but she didn't notice. He flicked it up onto the counter without making any eye contact. It was obvious that she didn't want bothered and frankly, neither did he. 

As the hour passed on the footballers grew increasingly inebriated, jeering each other on, obscenities and brawling flowing freely. He rolled his eyes. Those types of men were on the bottom of his list of acceptable humans. 

No brain cells, all brawn; and what little brain they did have was consumed with how lucky they thought everyone else was to have them. Taking up as much space as they wanted without a care to anyone else. Pathetic. 

He surreptitiously slid his eyes down the bar to sneak a peek at the woman in the corner. Holding her head in her palm, she read a book, taking notes on a small pad as her eyes flew across the pages. She appeared to be his age or a bit younger, skin just as pale as his, full lips stained blood red. He looked back down at his work, not wanting to interrupt her. 

"Hey miss, drink from the table" the bartender told her, about to pour her a shot 

"No thanks" she told him in a flat American accent, not bothering to look up, waving it away with her hand 

What was she doing all the way in England? 

The bartender put the bottle down and shrugged at the table of meat heads. Severus stifled a smile. It was good to know that the mask was obvious to other people and not just him. That she had respect for herself enough to ignore their advances. 

"What are you reading?" she asked him curiously, still not looking up 

"Chemical compounds in complex potions. You?" he answered slowly, not used to anyone asking him questions 

Her voice was warm, like honey in tea. 

"So just a little light reading? The complete works of Iranius Combs. Old poetry" she told him, her voice light with a tiny smile, flipping the page 

Iranius Combs? The fifteenth century poet? Those books had been out of circulation for hundreds of years. How did she have a copy? He had been trying to find a copy for years for his own collection. 

"How did you get it? They've been out of circulation" he asked before he could police himself 

She smiled, looking up to meet his eyes. Moss green glinting mischievously with long dark lashes and eyebrows

"I stole it." 

He raised his eyebrow at her cheek, as she laughed at him 

"I find rare books for a living. This is my latest acquisition. Are you planning on poisoning someone? Or is it better if I don't know" 

A book finder. Interesting. He stared down at his book. How much should he divulge about his life? Did she actually care or was she just being polite? She was American, but she had to know about Hogwarts. Perhaps he should be vague? 

"I'm a Potions Master, so while I suppose I could poison people, that isn't my goal...for now" he answered back sarcastically 

Did he just joke with someone? Was he truly on the verge of laughing? Did he just make her laugh? When was the last time he made someone laugh? 

The bartender came back with another drink a few minutes later and set it in front of her with an apology. 

She sighed deeply, picking up the amber liquid in a mini cyclone and sending it back into the bottle with a flick of her wand. Severus felt a twinge of curiosity kindle. Her magic was flawless and detailed. 

He heard a chair scrape from behind him and the heavy footsteps walk across the room. He stifled a groan. 

"Hey, let me buy you a drink" a man with a blonde crewcut and sculpted muscles called halfway across the room to her, being cheered on by his table of cronies. 

"No thanks" she called back, still focusing on her book 

Severus shifted in his seat, annoyed. He had a sudden flashback of his friend Lily being bothered by James Potter when they were young. It was great to see these men hadn't outgrown their adolescent streak. But unlike Lily, this woman didn't think it was funny; she saw through the disguise. 

"Come on. It won't hurt" he laughed, walking a little closer

"I said no. I just want to read my book" 

"I'm a nice lad. Give me a chance" he pushed, walking closer still 

"Nice lads should listen when nice women say no" she answered in a singsong voice, rolling her eyes heavily 

He kept walking closer, right in Severus' peripheral vision. The hairs raised on the back of his neck, casually placing his hand on his wand pocket. 

"If you come any closer I will hex you" she told him, sliding her wand out from her sleeve, sensing the same apprehension as he did 

"What's wrong with you? It's just a drink. Just a little fun" he was close enough to touch her now 

The bartender rolled his eyes and went in the back, wanting no part of what was about to happen. 

"I'm going to count to five. If you don't leave me alone, I will hex you. One...Two...Three..." she pointed her wand at him, tip to his chest, finally looking up from her book. 

At the count of three he turned around to go back to his table but muttered loud enough for her to hear 

"Bitch. You're too old anyway" 

Severus watched in amusement as a devilish smirk upturned her mouth and a small flash of light emitted from her wand. The footballer immediately grew a pig tail, eliciting uproarious laughter from his table. 

He whirled around, embarrassment obviously his kryptonite, stomping back to her, screaming as his skin flushed strawberry red

"What the hell is wrong with you!" 

She remained seated, not flustered in the slightest. Impressive. A contented smile on her face. 

"I figure if you're gonna act like a pig, might as well look like one. Wouldn't take much" she replied snarkily, the smirk growing 

Several of the guys from his table walked over, the four of them wands drawn with one collective mind between them. The alcohol didn't help matters. Severus took a deep breath. He wanted to jump in, but something told him that she could handle this on her own. 

"Don't make me do this guys" she spoke to them in a tired voice, as if she was a mother exhausted from her children's quarreling 

"You talk a big game. Duel up" the lead crony boasted, meaty hands gripping his tiny wand 

She rolled her eyes, sliding her book in her backpack which she put on. She stood, barely clearing five feet tall, her purple cloak enveloping her body. 

"Alright then. You go first. I'll give you a head start" she told them kindly, way too kindly. 

Severus looked back and forth between them, uncertain as to what he was about to witness. It had to be a trick. But he knew that pose. She was experienced in wand fighting. She held her shoulders back, wand held in her hand easily as if she didn't expect much fight. 

All four threw a spell at the same time and she easily deflected them without moving a muscle. This frustrated the children masquerading as men, causing them to get distracted and incant ineffective spells. With a sure flick and wordless magic, a bright white flash blew through the room, throwing all of the footballers against the far wall. 

Severus whipped his head around: twelve grown men, unconscious against the wall with their beer bottles shattered around them. 

He turned to face her, the smirk still there. Proud. She began laughing. He saw a bit of himself in her expression. A little vindictive but mostly seeking justice. 

"Do you want to get out of here? Maybe we could get a drink somewhere quiet?" she asked him, holding out her arm. 

He stared at her dumbfounded. No one ever invited him places. In fact, people went out of their way to ignore his existence let alone get near enough to touch him. Dubious at her intentions he didn't answer. 

She continued to hold out her arm, raising an eyebrow in jest and teased 

"I won't hex you. I promise" 

He laughed, a bit stupified by her candor and charm. He gave into the witch's request. He certainly didn't want to be around for the drunken aftermath of the footballers and their wounded egos. 

They quickly strode down the darkening street but upon hearing a clamor in the distance behind them, she pushed him into an alcove. His back thudded against the wall, her strong body pressed against him as she held her finger to her lips. Where should he put his hands? On her hips? By his side? 

Who was he that he was taking orders from a complete stranger? Isn't this what he wanted to escape from for the night? 

The entire football team ran down the street, disheveled, drunk and mad. Once she was certain they were gone, she leaned back and asked him kindly 

"So, what's your name?" 

"Severus. What's yours?" he answered shortly, she didn't need excess information 

"Nice to meet you Severus. I'm Seren. Where would you like to go" she asked him curiously

"I know just the place" he told her before apparating them into the early night.


	2. The Deal

The poetry in italics later in this chapter is actually by 13th century poet Hafiz if anyone is interested. 

—————-

"So where are we now?" she asked him calmly, large floppy hood obscuring her face 

The city was brightly backlit against the night sky, the river glittering like swirling diamonds. 

"Downtown London. There is a place I think you will enjoy. Shall I tell you or do you prefer the surprise?" he questioned, giving her the choice 

"Surprise me" she answered with a big smile, folding down the hood, curls framing in her face, showing a disturbing lack of concern for her own safety 

"I'm beginning to think that you have a bit of a death wish" he commented wearily, walking with her on the bridge beside the river.

Why did he always find himself amongst those who needed saving? Or who had such a reckless view of life. 

"Why is that?" she questioned, her elbow bouncing against his 

"We just met at the pub. And I apparated us without you not knowing where we were going..." he ticked off the reasons why each of the things she had done that night was unnecessarily dangerous. 

"You wouldn't have apparated us somewhere dangerous or else you would be in trouble too. Or you could have a death wish. You just saw me take out a dozen full grown men with magic. Easily. Yet you still came with me. What does that say about you?" she countered, stepping in front of him, her head tilted all the way back to look up at him 

He stopped. She had a point. Why didn't he feel afraid? She had just cursed a team of full grown men without so much as a flinch. Dare he say, she had even enjoyed it a bit. He wouldn't hurt her, but she didn't know that. She didn't have any reason to fear...she could take care of any threat. He understood that feeling. Knowing your own might and owning it. He hadn't even taken into consideration that she may be a danger to him. 

"That I understand that you have nothing to fear because you know how to handle yourself. I would say the same about myself" he told her smoothly 

She stepped back and winked at him. Winked. 

"Good answer" 

"Just follow me then" he rolled his eyes as he breathed in the scent of the murky river water 

Minutes passed in comfortable silence as they walked up to a nearly hidden door, painted green and tucked away in the corner of an old building. 

"Feeling less sure about that surprise now..." she said with a laugh, walking ahead of him, her hand on her wand pocket 

He watched as she opened the door, plum cloak hugging her hourglass figure. He couldn't focus on that right now...But why not? He wasn't protecting anyone right now, he didn't need to abide by any rules tonight. 

"Oh my god" she exclaimed, looking around at the open mezzanine full of three floors of books, large granite staircases softly arching to each new floor. 

"Have you ever been here?" he questioned hopefully

He wanted to impress her. Something in him wanted to surprise her. To get a reaction. 

"No....This is amazing...How did you find this place?!" she turned to him, her face shining with wonder and delight 

He was a lonely teenager. An adult who couldn't make close friends because of the mission he was assigned. No relationships. Not that anyone tried. Books were his best friends. He stumbled upon this shop two years ago when recovering from the first year of watching over Potter. He spent nearly every day that summer buried amongst literature. 

"I found it a few summers ago. Books bring me comfort that people can't" he told her in an unprecedented show of vulnerability 

"Show me around" she suggested, giving him her elbow, wrapping her wrist around his securely. 

He casually linked up with her, willing his heart to stop hammering in his chest. Normal people expressed platonic affection. But he wasn't necessarily normal. But he could be. 

They settled in a small corner with soft chairs after browsing several sections of history, fiction, and plant biology. A kettle, tea bags, and a plate of scones appeared. That was another thing he enjoyed, instant service. 

She sat back, slipping off her cloak, red turtleneck thick against her skin, black jeans tapered to her leg, and knee high patent leather boots tied tightly up around her calf. Forceful and proud. 

"Thank you. I make a shit cup of tea. Do you want to talk? Or should we read together?" she asked after he poured the tea for her

"You're American, of course you can't fix tea. I thought I would do us both a favor and fix it up correctly. I wouldn't mind hearing what is so interesting that you were willing to hex a team of men for" he suggested, razor sharp wit cutting into the conversation 

Instead of getting offended, she laughed, loudly. That was a good sign. She scooted closer, her knees resting against his. Pulling out the book of poetry she began to read aloud

"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being" 

Her fingers traced the paper thin page as she let the words settle around them. He wished he believed in the light of people. So far he and only seen the darkness. She continued on with a bit of reverence hanging on her words

"Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you. Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions" 

She shut the book. The words had struck too close to home for her. He wasn't upset that she quit reading; he felt it resemble his life in ways he didn't want to acknowledge. Happiness didn't chase him. His dark home, the dungeons, consistently living in the regret of his choices for the faint glimmer that he could protect someone else who could change the world...

"Why did you stop?" he asked softly, much quieter than he had spoken in recent memory 

"Because it feels a little too real if I'm being honest. Why don't you read me something from your potion book" she slid the weathered pages into her backpack and listened attentively 

He agreed, the words were too heavy for their situation. But he didn't want to read from his book. Perhaps he did want to talk. 

"What's your favorite plant?" 

She leaned forward, eyebrow arching, answering quickly as if she had given it a lot of thought before 

"Dittany. It's versatile, rare, and it's restorative powers are still being discovered. How about you?" 

Clever witch. 

"Venomous tentacula. It can attack people, is used in several important potions, and from the leaves comes a non-fatal poison that will make someone feel like they're burning alive..." he answered, testing the waters to see if that would scare her off 

"That is a solid argument. So, you often have a need for venomous tentacula in your daily life at Hogwarts?" she asked, deliberately coy, sipping her tea 

How did she know he worked at Hogwarts? He hadn't said anything. Could she use Legilimency? Had he met her before? 

"Relax Professor. Your wallet had the Slytherin house insignia on it when you paid for your drink. You thought I wasn't looking but I was" she informed him, the smuggest grin on her face. 

He wanted to be angry. That she had invaded any semblance of privacy that he deserved. But, that was some sleek perception. She was cunning. She earned that information. 

"I wish I could use the tentacula on the students. It would save me the headache of keeping them in check" he threw back, not joking in the slightest 

"I'm sure your boss would love that, as much as the kids might deserve it. I won't tell anyone you're here. You didn't want me to know" she assured him, placing a hand on his knee 

He stared at her hand. No one had touched him for years. He shook his mind free of the temptation. She understood more than he wanted to acknowledge. 

"I didn't want any expectations on me for just one night. I have a lot of...duties that are required of me..." he stopped himself before he went any further. 

She may have felt safe but he didn't know her. 

"I understand. You walk like you're carrying the world. A modern day Atlas" she dropped her voice, sliding her hand up his leg 

He sucked in a deep breath. What was she playing at? How did she think she knew him or what he carried? He wasn't that obvious. She didn't need to take pity on him. 

"You don't know anything about me Seren" he stated, sitting up straighter 

"And you don't know anything about me. That's the great thing. We both have secrets. I'm not interested in what you're hiding. But I like talking to you. You're smart and funny. And you're handsome" she told him boldly, placing both her hands on his knees 

His mind flashed to Lily. This felt wrong. But also, not wrong. His chest ached, not used to his heart beating so fast, hands beginning to sweat. He was working to save Lily's memory, the love for her life still present, but he didn't have to love this woman, he could just spend a night of anonymity with a likeminded soul. 

"What does this mean? I need clear expectations" he told her sternly, leaning into the space between them 

"We can go back to my place. Talk. Eat. Maybe flirt a little. Or more...if that's where the night takes us. You want to be invisible and I want to be seen. You want to escape from your own life for a bit. We could both get what we want tonight" she laid out the plan, eyes gleaming mischievously, letting her nose touch his 

He forced himself to breathe. He could do this. This was what he wanted. But first he needed to make sure she knew something. 

"You can't tell anyone. Literally. No one. It could get me killed. Or you. Being around me is dangerous. I wouldn't fault you if you left right now" 

She stared into his eyes, uncomfortably long. No fear. No hesitation. Stubborn and defiant. 

"I'm not afraid of anything. Let's go"


	3. The Overnight

He looked around the apartment. It was more like a library than a home. Books of all shapes and sizes lined the walls, dozens of candles floated in bowls of water alongside of roses and tulips, the floor covered in a plush white carpet, the furniture worn but sturdy. The air smelled of bergamot, musk, and ink. 

An Ilvermorny tapestry hung on the wall, with the Thunderbird insignia bolder than the others. Thunderbird favors the soul, he thought in his limited knowledge of the American houses. 

She used his arm to steady herself as she untied her boots. The action struck him as familiar, as if it was something friends would do. Did she really have no fear around him? That would be a first. 

"You gonna take off your shoes? Or do you want me to?" she teased, strutting across the room to pour two glasses of what looked like wine

He rolled his eyes, slipping off his dress shoes, her sarcasm a welcome reprieve from the continual pleasantries of his coworkers when he knew most of them didn't want to be around him. 

She motioned for him to sit beside her on the azure blue couch, relaxing into the cushions. He sank down, welcomed into the soft embrace of the fabric. He sipped the surprisingly light wine. Leaning against him, she nestled in with a heavy sigh of calm. 

"Why did you want to escape from your job tonight?" she asked, fingertips swirling patterns on his knee 

If she continued to touch him like that, he may give up all his secrets. Skin screaming at the foreign feeling. 

"I don't know how to explain without compromising confidentiality. Why did you decide to curse a team of men?" he deflected then replied back, leg relaxing against hers, she trailed her fingers higher up, reaching the top of his thigh 

"Because for half of my twenties, I let a man control me. So when I left I decided no one else would get to push me around or guilt me into making choices that I didn't want. Even if it is just a drink" she answered, the regret and defiance hanging heavy on her words 

"We often let those we think love us, control what we do..." he murmured, turning his face to hers, inches apart. 

She nodded, reaching her hand up slowly to his face, tracing her knuckles down his cheek. 

"I make my own choices now" she told him with a small smile, kissing his jawbone 

A thousand pins and needles rushed through his body, the air sucked from his lungs. The spot where her lips had been burned hot as fire. 

"Does that choice involve me?" he whispered, for fear his voice would crack if he spoke any louder 

She kissed his cheek, down his jaw, and his chin, looking into his eyes before answering slyly 

"If you want it to" 

Oh he did. Passion wasn't something he allowed himself to feel. It was too dangerous. Unbridled lust was the cause of many a man's downfall. His self discipline was an ever constricting lasso. Memories of love could be used against people. But...this didn't have to be love. This could just be a mutually beneficial partnership. He couldn't think any further, she kissed beneath his ear and pressed her fingers into his inner thigh. 

"I didn't come here just for sex. Or to take advantage of you" he asserted, his self control beginning to give way, brick by brick 

"I know you didn't. That's why I asked you to come with me" she told him cryptically, eyes softened at the edges, fingertips smudged with quill ink resting on his chest 

"I can't make you any promises" he told her bluntly, not wanting to plant any false impressions in her mind of what he was or wasn't capable of 

"I don't want you to. Let's forget life for tonight. No one controlling us. Just the two of us. Here. Right now" she told him truthfully, sliding over across his lap, kissing his neck as she slid her hands into his hair

His mind buzzed. He didn't know what to do. He never ventured outside of his own memories. Women were a liability. Physical affection set traps. But he didn't want to live that way tonight. He wanted to give and receive. Allow life to take him. To be taken care of. To let down his defenses and prove he wasn't simply a wall of anger and rage. 

He hated to feel stupid but his inexperience was taunting him. The fear of doing the wrong thing loomed over his head. He didn't want to hurt her in his lust. He didn't want to let her know. Taking a chance, he rested his hands on her hips, slipping his thumbs up under her shirt, the soft skin giving way beneath him. 

Looking into the green of her eyes, he noticed a circle of rusty amber around her pupil as if her body changed its mind in the middle of creation, her smile carefree and welcoming. 

"May I kiss you?" he asked timidly, lips tingling with curiosity and desire, thumbs brushing back the hair from her long face 

Her eyebrows knitted together for a split second before she leaned in, lips hovering above his, waiting for him to make the first move. 

Closing the gap, he carefully placed his lips over hers in a simple kiss. Her lips warm and smooth. A rush of adrenaline shot through his limbs as he gripped her hips in reaction. He understood now how people could fight over this type of thing. 

She took a breath and leaned in again, molding her lips to his, building a rhythm, showing him how to keep the pace. He learned quickly, running his tongue along her lip line, she immediately opened her mouth and touched her tongue to his, tasting him deeply. 

Taking a risk, he moved his hands to her bottom, giving a light squeeze as they kissed. She moaned into his mouth, the vibrations and thrill ran through him as a shudder. He gave her pleasure, she didn't find him repulsive. The thought traipsed across his brain as he began to kiss her neck, soft curls tickling his face. Her head thrown back and eyes closed, soaking in the sensation...She looked like a statue of a goddess. 

"Do you want to come to my bedroom?" she asked him sweetly, kissing him before waiting for the answer 

Could he? Should he? Yes. This wasn't love. It couldn't get him in trouble. Wouldn't keep him up at night. She wanted him just like he wanted her. This was real. 

"Yes" he breathed out the syllable, allowing himself to be led to the other room 

The room was sparse, unlike the living room which was filled with knick-knacks and literature. A few flickering candles provided a warm yellow glow. She stood beside the bed with a semi nervous expression, watching him in anticipation. 

"You certainly like to stare" he teased, allowing himself to touch her ribs, stomach, hips...

"Only when I'm looking at something I like" she teased back, slowly unbuttoning his vest, letting it drop to the floor. 

Then his shirt. It fell to the floor. A wave of realization flooded over him. He quickly flipped his arm over to hide it. But he knew she saw the dark mark. Shame radiated throughout his body. Stupid decision done by a stupid boy who was seeking the wrong type of attention. And look where it got him. A lifetime of penance. 

But she said nothing; she simply tasted his skin, running her hands over his stomach and chest as if they were a fine fabric that she just had to touch. He blew out a heavy breath as she kissed his stomach, taking her time to show him she enjoyed his body. 

He slipped his hands under her sweater, gently tugging it over her head. He stared at her breasts, lovely and round, skin blushing the color of a carnation, freckles spattering her belly. 

"Show me how you like to be touched" he whispered in her ear, large hand on bare skin. 

She shivered, walking him over to the bed, pulling him down beside her with the sultry command 

"Lay with me" 

Gently and cautiously, he stripped her of the remaining clothing and laid her flat on the worn comforter, stirring circles on her exposed skin as if it were a potion. He needed to learn her body first. Exploration and investigation. Her eyes took him in gratefully, petite hands touching every inch of his skin, pulling him down for sensual kisses. Gasps and appreciative moans as his hands brushed over her breasts, thumb teasing her nipples, tasting them with his mouth. Watching her squirm under his touch satisfied a very primal need in his soul. 

He could give her pleasure, he wasn't selfish. Although watching her arch into his touches stroked his ego just as much as her hands stroked his skin. 

"Please...Severus, touch me" she groaned, allowing her legs to fall open, granting him permission 

Heart hammering in his chest, he kissed her inner thighs, memorizing every curve and dip. Slipping a finger very carefully into her warmth, she gripped the sheets and cursed loudly. 

Laughing, he placed her hand over his and whispered 

"Show me" 

He felt the swollen nub raise under his fingers, circling clockwise, slow, then faster, holding on the pressure until she cried out, her hips arched, inner muscles shaking around his fingertips. 

She laid back, pulling him on top of her. He missed the feel of her lips on his already. Insistent and ready. She unbuckled his belt, flipping him over with a devilish giggle. Her grin, wild curls, full breasts and wide hips straddled him as beautiful as any painting he had ever seen. 

"Now...What do you like?" she asked sweetly, unzipping his slacks slowly, her palm running down his hard as stone erection 

Truth be told, he didn't know. He had his routine, certainly. But how did he like another person to touch him? That was a mystery. But he knew how to give an answer that would benefit them both. 

"Surprise me" he told her with a smirk, it was a challenge. 

"You're very brave" she whispered in his ear, kissing her way down to his navel, peeling off his briefs, clothing relegated to a heap on the floor 

He knotted his hands in her hair, watching as she kissed and licked his thighs. She ran the tip of her tongue from the bottom to tip of his penis, sending electric shockwaves into the bottom of his spine. 

He groaned; cursing under his breath. Watching wide eyed, she took his entire length in her mouth and swirled the tip with her tongue.

He fought the urge to shove her down onto him, bucking his hips involuntarily. Making eye contact with him, she grinned, kissing the tip. 

"Watch yourself witch..." he moaned, teetering dangerously close to the edge. 

"Or you'll do what?" she teased, enjoying stringing him along, kissing his thighs and using her mouth to draw him close and let him drop back 

He knew she called his bluff. She wasn't afraid of him and for the first time, that didn't annoy him. There was a mutual respect. He pulled her face up to his, deep and erratic. 

"Are you ready?" she asked in his ear, straddling him

No. Yes. All his emotions whirled to the surface. Frustrated that at thirty five he still hadn't had sex. Of course he could blame it on his penance to the school, no relationships because it would compromise his mission. But really, his reputation preceded him everywhere. He did a good job of acting disinterested and mean. He played into that part of himself. But he wasn't a one dimensional man, and tonight he was going to prove that. 

"Whenever you are" he whispered back, kissing her jawline and chest 

He gasped as she slid over him easily, warm and wet. Her head fell back as she groaned happily, bouncing up and down in a mesmerizing dance of hips and breasts. Timing out the thrusts, they moved together breathlessly. Curious, he began to circle the bundle of nerves with his thumb as he held her hip with his other hand. 

"Severus...damn it...You do that so well" she panted, her muscles instantly clenching around him, squeezing tightly 

He froze, intense pleasure, almost pain, tore through his body, rendering him speechless and unable to move for a full ten seconds. Once he released his breath, she collapsed onto him, forehead sweaty against his chest. 

He wrapped his arms around her body, not wanting to let go of the closeness that he felt. Safety in his vulnerable state. 

"Stay over?" she asked him from her spot on his chest, settling into the space between his neck and shoulders. 

"You just want me to make your morning tea" he teased, kissing the top of her head sweetly 

"You've found me out..." she answered dramatically, nudging his nose with hers, kissing around his lips, waiting for him to take the hint. 

He understood and he accepted. He was more than up to the challenge.


	4. The Watch

The sun filtered through the window, waking him from the first deep sleep he had gotten in years. Confusion traipsed across his brain as he looked around at the grass green walls, covered with art and poetry. The floor was clean, the dresser neat and tidy, clothes hung in the small corner closet. He looked to his right and read several of the titles on the small bookshelf beside the bed, this had to have been the most treasured collection. 

Looking to his left, he let his gaze linger on the slumbering woman beside him. Long lashes against her sun speckled skin, her straight bridged nose prominent and striking, strong arms clasping the pillow to her face, curls flung every which way, the curve of her spine rising and falling slowly. He wanted to touch her skin, it was so soft. It beckoned him. Would she push him away? 

The moment laid out before him like ice on a pond, fragile and ready to be broken when he stepped down. 

He allowed his fingers to slide down her shoulders, spine, and back up to her neck. Her eyes fluttered open, his heart jumping in his chest as she smiled brightly, alto voice groggy with sleep

"Good morning, I'm glad you're still here" 

He didn't respond, but he kept up with his ministrations. He could make someone feel good. He liked that. She closed her eyes, pulling her hair up in a loose topknot by muscle memory, and settled into his touches. He pushed down the silver sheets, exposing the curve of her bottom, expanding his touch. 

After a few minutes, she reached her arm out and wrapped it around his shoulders, pressing her naked body against his, legs intertwined. He stifled a groan, kissing her forehead. It was nice to rest. They had spent the better part of the night having sex and talking, in all manner of positions. He had been timid at first, afraid to let go, but as the night wore on she teased out the commanding side of him. Her body was familiar against his torso, the contented moans from last night still lingering in his mind, the way she gasped as she climaxed in his ear. 

"When do you need to leave?" she asked, voice muffled from her position in his shoulder blade 

His rounds started that night at seven. It was now nine am. Ten hours. Maybe he should be back an hour early to settle in. Nine hours. 

"This evening" he answered vaguely, not wanting to set a time frame yet 

"You know what I was thinking?" she sat up on her elbow, swiftly kissing his temple 

"That's a loaded question if I ever heard one. No I do not" he rolled his eyes, tucking away a smile 

She reached over him, breasts pressing against his chest, kissing his neck forcefully, flinging her legs over his hips. He laughed, kissing her lips just as hungrily. That is exactly what he was thinking too. 

————

It was nearing six, and they stood beside each other, lingering for no other purpose than the others company felt right. 

"Was this just a one night thing? Or will we see each other again?" she questioned neutrally, her affect swaying neither direction. 

A bit of him wished she would ask him to come back. But also, that would signify something more than what they had planned last night. He wouldn't mind seeing her again. But he needed to know she wanted that as well. 

"That depends...I still mean what I said last night" he answered bluntly 

"That doesn't scare me. I can more than live within those boundaries. Here..." she answered with relief in her voice. 

Maybe she did want him too, in a small, limited way. 

She summoned a pair of antique pocket watches, which came floating out of her bedroom. 

"I found these in Austria a few years ago. I never knew what to do with them. When you want to come visit me, just set the time. See?" she told him, grabbing her wand from her pocket. 

She began incanting an unfamiliar spell, a mesmerizing purple light swirling around the watches before settling into them

"I made that spell up myself"

She set the time for one minute and they waited. Soon, his light glowed and when he opened the watch face, the time read 5: 45 pm. 

"This is rather impressive. What if one of us isn't available at that time?" he asked, flipping the heavy watch around in his pocket 

"There's two buttons on the top, press the left button if you can't and the right if you can" she instructed and he pressed the correct button, and immediately her watch began to glow yellow

"It would glow red if not. What do you think?" she asked excitedly, eyes glowing happily 

He smiled. This was covert. She had put so much effort into this, he would be more than willing to give it a shot. It was much safer than sending an owl. No paper trail. 

"What if someone else gets a hold of it?" he questioned, turning it around. 

"It will lose the magic if anyone else but you touches it. Fail safe" she explained, opening the watch before explaining more

"And if you ever want to talk with me, use the spell dico amica, which I also made up by the way. I use it when I can't see my family often, but usually it's just a charmed mirror. This will be much easier to carry around" 

He popped open the watch, copying Seren's exact movements, a simple tap on the face plate for each syllable of the charm. Her face immediately showed up, making him laugh. 

"Just tap it and close when you're done, the charm isn't permanent" she smiled, sitting the watch on her side table. 

"You are an incredibly brazen and dangerous witch" he told her sternly, secretly impressed at the power she held. 

"I know. That's why you like me. I can keep you on your toes"she teased, leaning up to give him a final kiss goodbye 

"Until next time..." he murmured, apparating himself back to the edge of the grounds where he hardened his features and sealed off his soul once more.


	5. Christmas

Potter and his friends. Disrupting class, and arrogantly ignoring everything he was trying to teach them. How could he be expected to save these trifling children if they wouldn't listen? He couldn't be nice to them, wouldn't even want to. But even if he was kinder, he was certain they would still believe in their own abilities over anyone else. Youthful arrogance. 

Lupin. Allowing him to be disrespected amongst the students with that damn Boggart. Lupin playing the role of the meek and humble servant while he slaved away with the real tasks at hand. Lupin most certainly helping his old friend slink around. 

That stupid map. The Marauders. Harry likely didn't even know who they were, but Lupin did. Taking it back into his possession. The whole situation a repeat of his adolescence. 

A vision of Seren's face flickered through his mind. Those pretty green eyes that didn't judge him. Didn't know anything about his years as a pariah. He didn't know anything about her...Perhaps she would understand. 

It had been almost a month since they met. He didn't want to appear needy, but he needed to be around someone who didn't hate him. In actuality he shouldn't care, but the weight of it all was breaking his back. He made it back to his room, swiping the watch from his dresser. He wanted to talk to her. Her face popped up instantly 

"Hey stranger!" 

He bit back a smile as he accused

"You didn't reach out to me either, if you recall" 

She rolled her eyes as she continued on 

"Semantics. You going to come over? Christmas is next week" 

He groaned. Christmas. He was staying at the castle for extra security for Potter since Black was still on the loose. Not that he had anyone to go home to anyway. May as well stay at Hogwarts. 

"I wouldn't be opposed to coming over. Not that I even know where you live" he told her, not really caring where she lived.

It was better that he didn't know. She would be safer that way. 

"Ours is a partnership of secrecy. I mean, you could sneak me into the castle. But that might be frowned upon" she said, the lightness of her tone suggesting she didn't believe he would for one second do that 

She would learn that he didn't back down from a challenge. Especially when told he couldn't do something. The sheer irony of him trying to sneak someone into the castle when he was staying there in order to keep intruders out of the castle was not missed. 

"I could get you in. You don't believe me?" he challenged her, daring her to rise to the occasion 

She laughed, brushing her curls back

"Hit a sore spot? Sure, why not risk getting arrested at Christmas" 

He smirked. She wouldn't get arrested. If anything, Dumbledore would send her a gift basket for taking him off his hands for a few nights. 

"Come over Christmas night? Or do you have family?" he said, quickly correcting himself 

"We already had our required family get together. I'll see you then, Professor" she blew him an over the top kiss complete with an eye roll before she disappeared.

————-

They met at the edge of Hogsmeade, the tiny diamonds of white snow swirling in the cold. He almost didn't recognize her, she had changed her hair from burgundy to a caramel blonde. They made their way up the path, fighting against the wind, her body turned into him for warmth. 

"Oh shit. You didn't tell me there were dementors here! What the hell is wrong with your school you need to guard it with them?" she exclaimed, looking apprehensive at walking onto the grounds as the black figures wafted overhead. 

"There is a murderer on the loose and many think he will try to come here to trick a student..." he whispered, in case anyone was near 

"And you thought this was the perfect time to sneak me into the castle?" she asked rhetorically, scurrying to keep up with his long legs 

"Everyone is so focused on that, no one will notice you. Plus, there is a passageway on the side of the castle straight to the potions dungeon" he answered easily, taking her to the darkest corner of the castle, no one able to see the two of them under the cover of night.

Down the dark and slick passage they went, the silence pressing on his ears. Her perfume filled the passageway, floral with anise. Sighing with relief, he opened the door to the dungeon, glancing around to make certain no one was there. He sealed the door shut, shoulders relaxing. 

She walked around his classroom, slipping off her cloak, holding it in the crook of her arm. He sucked in a deep breath, she wore a low cut red tunic top that hugged her curves, black leggings that stretched across her strong thighs. She hopped up on his desk, legs spread wide. 

"What are you teaching me today?" she asked seductively, a silly grin on her face

His stomach coiled in anticipation at the realization that she looked forward to being with him. 

"Perhaps a little respect for your professors belongings?" he teased, pressing his hands into her thighs as he kissed her lips, remembering how they melded to his instantly

She pulled him back on top of her, feverishly touching his body as they kissed, tongues in a battle of wills. 

"Shall I take you here?" he murmured, the words foreign in his mouth, but exactly right for the moment 

In response, she slid off her leggings, spread wide for him across his desk. Desire growing so strong he almost couldn't control his body. He wanted to experiment. He had been researching for weeks the different ways to bring pleasure to a lover and was excited to test it out. He bent over, tongue to her thigh, then down to her outer lips, gently easing them apart as he tasted her folds and layers. 

She groaned loudly, sending a silencing charm around the room, delighted squeals and curses ringing out as he brought her over the edge quickly. 

"Get inside me...oh please" she demanded, to which he gladly obliged, unzipping and sliding in, her soft walls encasing his rock hard penis. 

He didn't hold back, gripping her hips he thrust as hard as he could, her body accepting him gladly, kissing her neck and lips as much as he could. She was grinning, head thrown back, only the sound of their bodies moving together echoed off the walls. He felt his body pulsate, pulling her close, embracing her fully as they caught their breath. 

He opened the door to his chambers on the side of the dungeon and she began walking towards it, stripping off her remaining clothes as she went. Her body swayed as she walked, strong and utterly feminine. 

"Class isn't over" she called out, playing into the game 

He growled, lust and appreciation filling his body. It was definitely not over. 

———————

"How long have you been a teacher?" she asked him the next morning as they ate breakfast in his sitting area, bodies tired from their escapades 

He knew he couldn't hide facts about himself forever. 

"Fourteen years" he answered with a sad smile, most of his adult life. 

Fourteen years of near solitude. Friendships at bare minimum with the staff. But it had to be worth it. Worth it in the end. 

"You dont seem too enthused about it" she stated the obvious, wrapping her garnet red silk robe around her body, resting her legs across his lap, plate of jam toast and eggs balanced on her thighs. 

"I suppose I'm not. It's a role of necessity" he explained, figuring that would sum it up 

"A man of loyalty?" she asked, thankfully not prying 

"Something like that...What about you?" he switched the subject

"My job or my loyalty?" she clarified, casually offering him a bite of her toast 

He stared at the simple gesture, something inside of him warming. His mouth had tasted every part of her body, but sharing a piece of bread was off limits? No one treated him like a human. It was easier that way. But this helped him to remember who he was outside of his mission. 

"I didn't spit on it" she joked at his hesitation as he leaned forward and took a bite.

She continued, not waiting for him to reply 

"I got married when I was nineteen. To my boyfriend; he was a muggle. He treated me like dirt. I stayed home because he wouldn't let me work. I couldn't use my magic. 

I got tired of it when I turned twenty five. I just wanted to see the world by myself. Make my own choices; decide on my own what I would have for dinner, what I would wear. So I called my mom and sister and left when he on a business trip. Been on my own for the past six years..." 

Her bold, take no prisoners approach made sense now. Traveling the world in search of stories and places she hadn't seen. Fierce independence. A thought popped into his mind, what would have happened if his own mother had decided to leave? 

"I must commend you on your bravery. It's not easy to leave the life you know" he told her kindly, resting his hand on her knee.

She floated her plate to the table, laying back on the couch, picking his other hand with her right, holding it tightly on her belly, stroking it in circles with her left hand. Closing her eyes, she fell back asleep. 

He smiled, not bothering to untangle his fingers from her grasp. Her chest rose up and down, her grip still not loosening. He leaned back against the couch as well, taking the rest when it would come because it was never guaranteed.


	6. Summer Flight

His head still throbbed a week later. Those three disarmed him while they helped Black escape. At first he didn't believe when Albus told him that Sirius had been framed. He wanted the vindication of turning him in. All of those years being tortured for the Marauders amusement...

He could practically taste the victory. His only consolation prize was insinuating that there may be a werewolf at Hogwarts. And even that felt hollow. Perhaps Remus got the wrong end of his wrath. But it was done and over with now. 

He didn't want to believe that Sirius was innocent. That would mean that Sirius had some form of convictions. But as much as Black was horrible to him, he was good to Lily and Potter. As much as the hatred still swirled in his gut, he knew that Black would protect Harry with his life. Just as he had sworn to. So much so, he didn't explain to anyone that they disarmed him, not even Albus. 

It wasn't an issue of pride, it was an issue of valor. The three of those kids bound together and took out what they perceived as a threat. Even if that threat was him, he could respect that. That's not to say he didn't fight for their suspension for leaving the school grounds when they weren't supposed to; they could have ran into a transfigured Lupin...

With all his belongings packed and stored at his home in Spinners end, he had the summer to himself. The Dark Lord hadn't resurfaced yet, none of the followers were regrouping, and Potter was off to his muggle family. 

He picked the watch out of his coat pocket and set it for a few minutes away, not expecting Seren to reply instantly. The watch glowed bright yellow. His spirits began to lift a little. Over the spring semester they spent one night a week together, usually Saturday night into Sunday afternoon. Some days she stayed at the castle, but he enjoyed meeting her at the edge of the grounds, always apparating to her cozy home. He could be himself away from the confining brick walls. 

He flipped open the watch, waiting for her face to pop up

"Where are we meeting this time?" she asked, familiar smile contagious 

"I've opened my floo network for you: Severus Snape, Spinners End" he told her shortly, not willing to leave his floo open for long, anyone could enter. 

She agreed and within the next five minutes his fireplace lit up emerald green and she stumbled out, shaking the soot from her curls. Her shorts showed off her muscles, simple green tee shirt, and a wrist full of wooden beaded bracelets. She appeared so ordinary, but he knew she was hiding in plain sight for a reason. 

"What a warm and welcoming home" she teased, a layer of dust flying out from under her fingers as she ran her hand across the books on the shelf. 

His eyes settled on her arm, a cast in place. 

"What happened?" he questioned, wincing at the concern in his voice, he couldn't afford to blur that line. 

Plopping herself down beside him, she shrugged 

"I was with my mom and sister for the weekend. I fell down the damn stairs because my sister, Eaódin, leaves her shoes everywhere. I didn't trust myself to fix it with my wand and they're both muggles so I spent six hours in a hospital...Oh, sorry, is this funny to you?" she stopped in the middle of her rant, annoyed at his smile. 

Her voice settled in his bones like whiskey in the winter. 

"I assumed you were trying to be funny with your theatrics?" he pressed, arching his eyebrow, feeling free to tease her now knowing that she wasn't in any pain. 

"Keep it up Severus" she threatened, shoving him in his ribs like she tended to do as they bantered

He winced, hissing out a labored breath. He had a few broken ribs from being disarmed. Poppy healed him that night but they were still tender. 

Her expression immediately changed from glee to concern, not waiting for him to consent; she lifted up his shirt and gasped. It looked ugly, a splotchy purple bruise in various stages of healing. Leaning down, she barely grazed his skin, kissing his sternum. 

"What happened to you?" she wasn't joking now, her voice serious and solemn 

He looked down, not wanting to explain as she gingerly levitated his shirt off, staring curiously at the scratches and bruising across his chest and stomach. 

"Don't worry about me...Give me your arm" he demanded, his wand in hand

Uncertainty splashed across her face, but she still extended her arm as he murmured with full concentration 

"Brackium emendo" 

She gasped as the bones cracked into place. He removed the cast and kissed her hand. 

"Thank you..." she whispered, tracing his stomach, expectantly waiting for his answer 

"I was disarmed by some students, they were fooling around where they shouldn't have been" he answered elusively, trying to make eye contact with her but the bit of guilt growing in his stomach made it difficult. 

Seren was smart. She knew when to push for the truth and when to allow him to believe that she believed his lies. 

"Do you need me to believe that?" she asked, the vulnerability in her voice cutting at him 

"It's the truth you need to hear right now. I wasn't in any real harm. I promise you that" he tipped her chin up, pressing his forehead to hers, waiting for a kiss, her acknowledgment that she trusted his judgment. 

A minute passed by, staring intensely in his eyes, as if she was trying to get into his thoughts. Sighing in resignation, she kissed him tenderly before stating in his ear, lips warm and wet, the base of his spine tingling

"I know that you're lying to me. But, we didn't agree to the complete truth...did we?"

A piece of him withered. She deserved the truth. But she also deserved to be safe. The only thing that mattered was that she knew he was doing this for their own good. Before he could reply she pulled a book out of her bag and continued 

"Close up your floo. Anyone could get in here" she instructed, laying her head in his lap, charming the book to float in front of her face as she read.

——————-

He startled awake, the moon beams shining in through his bedroom window. The spot beside him was empty and cold. His stomach dropped. Maybe she decided that it wasn't worth it to be around him. He couldn't fault her for that. He shouldn't get used to having someone stay with him...After the years of solitude it was nice to feel human again. 

The floor creaked as she entered the room in her bra and panties, a glass of water in hand. They fell asleep in bed that night, not making love, just lying together in their tenuous peace. She tossed and turned for hours, sighing in frustration as he pretended to be asleep. 

"I thought you left" he muttered, cream silk sheet wrapped around his torso 

"I thought about it. But I like what we have" she divulged, sitting beside him on the bed 

"Sex and lies?" he bit back, surprised at the sharpness in his words 

"I like you. And you like me. But things are going to get much worse. Aren't they?" she asked, something in her tone telling him she already knew the answer 

"Yes. It's going to get really bad. And dangerous" he replied, taking her hand in his, wishing he could do more, wishing he could tell her...

He couldn't tell her exactly, but he could leave hints. Just like with everyone else. Only Seren would understand. 

She stared out the window, the light casting shadows on her face, stars giving her skin a silver sheen. Moon goddess. 

"Since we can't tell each other the truth, let's run from it. All summer. Come with me on my trips. Sell potions as you go. Polyjuice yourself if you want. But let's run away. Until you have to come back and lie some more" she threw it out there, a solid argument. 

No one could find him. No one who knew his name. One last bit of freedom before the chains of servitude and vows. 

"Shall we leave now? Or would you like to put some clothes on first?" he asked acerbically, gratefully taking in her half naked frame 

"Should I put on clothes? Or would you like it more if I did this..."she unsnapped her bra, nipples peaked with anticipation before pushing him with one last barb that he couldn't resist 

"Or are you too hurt to take me up on my offer" 

"I think I can manage" he rolled his eyes, laying her back on the bed, deeply kissing her lips. 

This summer would be the best he ever had.


	7. Seren’s Summer

May

"Seren, who are you talking to? Is that a special friend?" her mother, Gwen, called from the kitchen where she was fixing dessert and coffee. 

"What do you mean by special? Is he like me?" Seren called back, flipping shut the pocket watch, appreciative of her mother's delicate nature when asking about magic. 

Gwen was very respectful of the Statute of Secrecy given Seren was the only witch in their bloodline for hundreds of years; since Salem when their whole family clan was slaughtered. Not that anyone knew that. She had done some digging when she attended Ilvermorny, lo and behold to find a family of witches who ran their own business selling brooms. Murdered at the height of hysteria. 

"Yes dear, like you, not like me and Eadoin" she called back, walking over a tray of cookies and coffee. 

"He is. He's a teacher at a school, for kids like me" she answered smoothly

"Is he that one you spent Christmas with?" her sister interjected innocently, eavesdropping on the conversation, helping herself to an oatmeal cookie 

"You spent Christmas with a man?! Seren Anne!" Gwen exclaimed, mouth agape 

"Shut up Eadoin!" she exclaimed, rolling her eyes so hard they threatened to pop out 

"Will we get to meet him?" Gwen asked curiously, shocked no doubt to hear that she had broken her vow of never being with a man again after her debacle of a marriage. 

"I don't know. We've got a weird relationship. If you can even call it that" Seren skirted around the subject, not knowing how her mother would take to hearing the clandestine details of her voyeurism. 

"What's she mean Eadoin?" Gwen asked her other daughter, eyebrow raised 

Knowing that her sister couldn't resist stirring the pot and raising hell, Seren closed her eyes and braced for the impact. 

"It means they're just having sex. Sometimes breakfast" Eadoin stated gleefully, taking a big bite of dessert and flipping her auburn waves behind her shoulder 

Gwen paled, then straightened her shoulders as she processed the new knowledge 

"Well...As long as you both agree that's what it is...And you're happy with it....Fine" 

Seren gave her a hug, impressed that her mother's brain hadn't begun to ooze out her ears. 

Gwen hadn't dated seriously since Eadoin was a baby and she was almost two. The love affair between her mother and their father Stephen was rather juicy; impregnating Gwen at fifteen, and then again at seventeen. He swore they would get married but one morning he was just gone, never to be heard from again. Good riddance. 

The three of them grew up together, thick as thieves, more like sisters than mother and daughters. She was glad for their close relationships, not many had a home they could gladly return to whenever they wanted. 

"What's he like?" Gwen persevered, determined to get blood from a stone. 

Knowing that she was notoriously closed mouthed about her personal life, Seren decided to give a little to her mother. She would be gone most of the summer tracking down the lost chronicles of Kai Nim, an author of many fairy tales written to magical children in the early 1700s. She would compare him to the Muggle Grimm brothers. 

"He's tall, thin, long and dark hair. He makes potions and is super intelligent. But also incredibly reclusive. I met him at a pub actually, both of us wanting to hide away in the midst of chaos...That is all you get" she told them both, holding back a laugh at how invested they were at her story, leaning forward on their knees while sipping their coffee 

"He's always welcome to come by dear" Gwen told her, patting her knee with a warm smile. 

That would be a cold day in hell, Seren thought, but it was nice to let her mother dream. 

———————  
June

"What the actual fuck is this?" Seren demanded angrily, exhausted from a bus ride and several apparations as she held up a waterlogged, mildewed, and yellowed shape of pages that once could have been called a book 

The shopkeeper, Maurice, sat back in his chair, belly bulging, talking to her in a bored voice

"That's your book. Kai Nim."

Her temper flared, ready to throttle or hex him but she took a deep breath and continued on 

"No it most certainly is not. That is a pile of wet tree shit" she poked at it with her finger, annoyed at his dishonesty 

"Well what do you want to do about it pretty girl? Make me a bargain" he leaned forward, grey bushy beard obscuring his reddened face

"There is no way in hell I will bargain for that" she asserted, keeping her cool but raging internally, ready to hex him into oblivion for wasting her time. 

She and Severus had made a special trip to this underground section of Berlin to get here; the shops were shoddy and hours unreliable. It was a miracle they even found the place. 

They left the underground potions scene in Lithuania to come here on a tip from a librarian they had talked to at a pub a few weeks prior. She swore he was credible. 

"Well maybe you give me something and I'll show you what I've really got stored in the back" he leaned over the counter, trying to touch her face 

Severus moved from beside her, placing himself between them, growling in his baritone voice

"You will not speak to her that way. Keep your hands to yourself" 

Her anger boiled over. She didn't need to be defended or coddled. She could handle herself. She grabbed Severus' elbow, and told Maurice 

"Excuse us for a moment. Severus, outside please" 

Once outside, she seethed through clenched teeth 

"Don't do that again. You'll take away my credibility. I can take care of myself. I want you here with me, but I don't need you here" 

His face didn't show any emotion instead he asked sourly 

"So I should just let him insult you? Touch you? That'll prove that I trust you?" 

"Yes. Because it's not your duty to defend me" she replied angrily, rubbing her forehead, pride swelling up 

"Fine" he acquiesced curtly, opening the door for them to go back in. 

Maurice smirked at her, pushing the book towards her 

"Absolutely in no way will I accept that. And honestly I'm never going to buy from you again. Blacklisted, Maurice" she shoved the moist hunk of papers across the counter at him. 

"You're making a big mistake" he opined, reaching under the desk 

She immediately silently disarmed him, binding him against the wall. Severus grinned, hanging back. He enjoyed watching when she got a little feisty. 

"Bitch!" Maurice grunted, straining to breathe, his wand out of his reach under the counter. 

"I'll let you go if you promise to be a good boy. Don't hex me. And give me the book you said you had; don't try and swindle me" she demanded, one hand on her hip and the other holding her wand 

"Fine! It's under the counter" he struggled to get the words out as Severus leaned over to get the book. 

That was it. Flawless. Beautiful. Hand drawn lettering and original painting. Quite possibly the last remaining fully intact copy of the third Chronicle of Nim. She forced her elation down for one last threat. 

"No one fucks me over Maurice. Here's the money we agreed on by owl. Any funny business and we will have a bigger discussion ahead of us" she warned him, letting him drop to the floor 

"I don't think those thoughts are appropriate. You should apologize. Immediately" Severus growled, staring into Maurice's eyes. 

Maurice's eyes widened, and he mumbled a quick apology as he flew into the back room and locked the door. She grabbed the book and they walked out backwards into the bright sunlight. 

Strolling in tenuous silence, she decided to take the first step. Severus wasn't trying to overpower her, he was trying to help. 

"I'm used to doing everything myself. I don't need anyone's help. I overreacted" 

He didn't answer, but he clasped her hand as they walked. 

He eventually spoke, not looking at her, staring straight ahead

"I know you can handle yourself. I know you don't need anyone to protect you. I suppose that I just wanted to...You didn't see what I saw" 

She let that half apology sit for a minute. What did he mean, what he saw? They saw the same thing, a gross old man looking to try and use leverage to outwit a woman who he deemed to be lesser than. 

"What do you mean?" she pressed, the hot summer sun baking her cheeks and bare shoulders 

"His thoughts were filthy. What he was thinking about doing to you. I couldn't stand by...I didn't mean to insult your abilities, you are a formidable witch" he answered truthfully, apology heavy on his tongue 

Severus was a Legilimens. He didn't need to use those words, but she knew. That made sense. How he could read a room even more quickly than she could, how he often went blank faced around too many people and why he was being used like a tool for other people's games. 

"Have you ever" she began hesitantly before he cut her off vehemently 

"No. Not without your permission" 

"Good. Because you wouldn't like what would happen to you if you did" she faux threatened, the anger subsiding. 

He snorted, giving her hand a quick squeeze. They would be fine. 

————  
August

The smell of simmering potion woke her up. She guessed the time to be about seven am. Severus was an early riser, the silence of the still sleeping world calmed him. He often had trouble sleeping which gave him ample time to brew. He did this everyday. His potions sold quickly anywhere they traveled, keeping him busy and distracted from his impending return to Hogwarts. 

She sat up and stretched, knowing that their summer was coming to a close. The days had passed easily, traveling from London to Scotland, to Norway, to Libya, to Egypt, to Lithuania, then Berlin, and now in the Pacific Northwest of the United States. 

It was fun to surprise him when she checked them into a muggle hotel their first night in Scotland; she chose to live a life well balanced between magical and not, selling and buying books from Muggles to aristocratic purebloods.

And now, they ended their trip in a magically enlarged tent amongst the dense forest on the Canadian/American border. His life at Hogwarts was insular, living with expectations and pressure. He began to harden himself again, protective shell building back up. She hoped this summer eased him of that, if only temporarily. He was incredibly tight lipped about what he did or his role in the grander picture. But she didn't need to know. 

To her, he was just Severus, in the moment. The next not guaranteed. It was as terrifying as it was liberating. 

She thought back to the first night they met, almost a year ago. She often went to that pub because no one went there. She could read and be alone in the corner. But that night a group of rowdy footballers showed up. And then Severus. He was different. Sitting at the bar, pretending that he wasn't checking the door, the windows, every possible exit. Pretending that he wasn't trying to sneak a peek at her face under her mop of hair. 

She knew he was paying attention because she cast a spell to make her pen roll. He immediately picked it up. Easy. But he didn't try to talk to her, or get her attention. He wasn't there for a fight or a fling. He wasn't searching for anything. That's why she asked him to go with her. Because he didn't need her and she didn't need him. It was purely out of want that they could be together. 

She laughed remembered his half mortified half admiring expression as she took down the four men who tried to come at her. That's when she knew she wanted to get to know him. He could keep up with her and not be intimidated or jealous. He was a rare find and she knew when to snap those up. 

The tent flap swung open, and he made his way in quietly, dropping bottles of potion into his bag for sale that day. 

"Good morning" she called, his presence a comfort in spite of its sharpness and peculiarity. 

Perhaps that's why she enjoyed it so much. For as many secrets as they held between them, she knew he wasn't hiding his true self. His values or his integrity. Those things couldn't be hidden. They could be faked, but not for long. 

"Did I wake you?" he asked with a tinge of concern to his voice 

She shook her head no. He walked over and laid beside her on the bed, pulling her into his embrace, the wood smoke and herbs both calming and sensual. His pillow smelled just like that. That's what she would remember the most about him if they should have to part ways soon; the visceral reaction that his scent evoked in her belly and chest. 

"We should make our return soon..." he stated, kissing her neck teasingly 

He had grown bold in his physical affection, so different from the timid fawn of their first night together. She didn't mind things a little rough and he certainly brought the temptation. Their bodies reacted to each other immediately like oxygen igniting a fire. 

"Not yet..." she groaned, pinning him down, biting under his ear where he liked, grabbing a fistful of hair as her teeth sank into his skin 

He moaned loudly, immediately growing beneath her stomach. Hard and fast was the best way to start the morning sometimes. Especially when she was staring down being alone again for an immeasurable amount of time. She wanted the memory of it to last on her body. 

"I wouldn't dream of leaving without first pleasing you, my brazen bird" he murmured in her ear, blowing cool air on her neck before biting down on her collarbone. 

The mixture of pleasure and pain sent her spiraling, mouth demanding his immediately, tongues warm and firm. 

"Don't forget about me this year" she warned between labored breaths 

He flipped her over as she shrieked and giggled, easily sliding in from behind, gripping her hips with his long fingers, bringing her to climax. 

"There's no way I could even try to forget you" he told her, his voice the same mixture of sadness, fear, and happiness that she felt. 

She huddled close to him after he finished, memorizing his body. The familiarity would have to be a memory. They could at least stay the day together. That couldn't hurt.


	8. Better Than The Yule Ball

"Merry belated Christmas!" she exclaimed that morning as he apparated into her living room. 

He smiled, relieved to be away from the castle. From his world. In their little alcove. Where he could pretend the world wasn't getting steadily worse. Where he could pretend that his mark wasn't darkening and burning. That the dark lord wasn't close to resurrection. That he may soon have to cease their weekly rendezvous. 

But for these next several days, he wouldn't think about that. She launched herself at him, shoving up against her front door. The month of December was busy and they hadn't been able to meet up for six weeks. 

He couldn't admit he missed her; he was telling himself that he got used to having sex and the escape valve that it provided. Being greeted by her more than made up for being alone at the blasted Yule Ball. He was annoyed at having to chaperone the Yule Ball full of emotionally charged teenagers, coward Karkaroff planning to flee, and the fact that someone was trying to kill Potter by getting him entered into that damn Tournament. 

"Get in my room Master Snape" she demanded, dragging him by the hand into her bed 

He laughed at her excitement, ego definitely inflated that she found him alluring, that she looked forward to their meetings as much as he did. It was completely the opposite of any other interaction he had. 

"No foreplay. I need you, right now" she told him silkily, motioning him over with her finger, breasts pushed up enticingly in an emerald green bra he hadn't seen before. 

"You're all mine witch" he growled, allowing his shields down, and lust to the forefront. 

——————

"Fuck me...that was so good" Seren whispered in disbelief as they lay together a few rounds later, both spent and pleased. 

"I believe I already did that, and rather well, if I do say so myself" he answered sarcastically, allowing a small smile at her happiness 

"Snarky bastard" she insulted him, giving him a sloppy cheek kiss

"I told you so" he kissed her back, wrapping her in his arms, her soft skin scented with peppermint lotion. 

"Are we going to pretend that something isn't wrong? You're really stressed..."she whispered a few minutes later as she circled his navel 

"Yes. If you want to continue to get together, we need to pretend" he answered sharply, a surge of anger running through his chest 

"I heard something yesterday...Should I tell you?" she brushed his hair back, voice reluctant and for once, uncertain. 

Her forehead wrinkled, eyes downcast as she kissed his chest absentmindedly 

"That depends. Was it about me? Or...something else" he asked carefully, trying to decide if it was dangerous for him to know 

Some things he didn't need to be aware of. 

"I gave a book about alchemy to a man. He wouldn't give me his name. Blonde hair. Very elegant. Really rich. He was talking to someone while I waited in the other room. He was saying a bunch of names...and mentioned you. But he said you were a traitor...A traitor teaching his son" Seren spoke quietly, refusing to meet his eyes 

His heart stopped. She had been in the same room as the Malfoys. And she had lived. He fought the urge to tell her to never go back again. To grill her for every single detail. To see if she was safe. 

"Did you give him your real name?" he asked, tilting her chin up 

If she had, she was in serious danger and he would have to do something...Place her in hiding. The situation feeling eerily similar. Except she wasn't Lily. He made himself pay attention to her again. 

"Hell no. He was unhinged. I almost regretted giving him that book...Do you know him?" she asked, eyes wide but bravely trying to steal herself for his answer 

"Can I see your memory? It won't hurt, but I'll be able to see what happened" he questioned, and she didn't think, just nodded. 

He touched her forehead and her thoughts swirled around him. The Malfoy mansion, relics of the dark arts everywhere. Seren sat on the couch, trying hard to look as if she wasn't listening.

"Cissy! She brought it! The spell book that he wanted. We will be high in favor when he returns" 

Some muffled words then 

"Avery, Mulciber, Karkaroff, and that traitor Snape. He is such a snake, pretending to be loyal while hiding in that castle. We'll see if he returns when He calls" 

Then he threw a bundle of money at Seren, yelling at her to leave the house. 

The memory dissolved and they sat together in eerie silence. 

"Never go back there. Please promise me that Seren" he whispered, emotions betraying him as he grabbed her shoulders 

"Was I in danger?" she asked, for once, there was vulnerability evident in her voice 

"Yes. That whole family hates half bloods. But you had something they wanted...Promise me you won't go back" he pushed, gripping her chin with his thumb and forefinger. 

"I promise. You need to tell me enough so that I don't get myself killed. Obviously something is happening, and you're involved. And you can't tell me. Jesus...." she processed the situation, the prospects bleak at communication 

"For the time being, any books about dark arts, be very very cautious. Public meetings if you can. Do not tell a soul that you know me. Seriously Seren. Not. A. Soul" he touched his nose to hers, realizing how stupid it would be to continue this relationship 

But it was the only thing reminding him of his humanity. The only thing reminding him that he had a purpose outside of his promise to Albus. How much was it worth to him to put her life at risk? To put her at risk just for him? 

"I don't want to stop meeting. We need this" she stated, already guessing his thoughts, sitting up with the sheets wrapped around her. 

"Do you know what I am?" he asked self consciously, giving her an out. 

She had to know what he was. What he had to pretend to be still. The precarious position that placed them both in. 

She picked up his arm, tracing her fingers down his mark. Cocking her head to the side, she contemplated her thoughts. The gesture was almost obscene, openly caring for him despite what it signified. It the most hated part of himself and everything it represented. 

"I'm not afraid of what you were. Or who you need to be. I know what you don't say. We don't need to bring it up again" she answered just as vaguely as he did, answers circular and hypothetical. 

Gods, she was so beautiful. Her soul so valiant. 

He couldn't protect her all the time. She was far too independent, had her own life to live, and wouldn't take kindly to being hemmed in by his boundaries. He could offer one thing though. One thing that he knew how to do better than anyone else in the world. 

"Have you read about the art of Occlusion?" he asked, sitting up as well, staring at her pouty lips, practically feeling them against his. 

She nodded excitedly, the prospect of learning lighting up her face

"Yes! But I've never met anyone before who could do it. The art of shielding your mind from prying eyes, so to speak" 

"I'll teach you. It's not easy but if you're going to continue your trade, and I know you are because you're stubborn, you need to learn it. For safety" he told her factually, not adding in the personal investment that he had in keeping her safe. 

"Let's start now. Do your worst" she dove right in, bold and confident. 

He hesitated. They were about to cross so many boundaries. Her memories and personal thoughts were very much a mystery to him. He had no idea what her family life was like, who her friends were...They didn't discuss those things. Only the matters at hand were discussed. 

Taking a deep breath, he warned her 

"I'm going to look into your thoughts. You will try to block me by mentally replacing the memory with either a less offending one, or by hiding it altogether. Envisioning a wall around your memories. Blanking out the person. Really focus on the emotion. That's what sells it. Occlusion works best when fueled by some sort of anger or sorrow; you have to be protective of your thoughts"

She nodded, staring into his eyes, determined and slightly nervous. 

He slid into her memories, a recent one of the two of them, sitting and reading. The memory became slightly fuzzy, obscuring his face. He moved onto another one, a very old memory. She sat with a woman, both crying. 

"Focus. Don't let me see it" he pushed, and the image became fuzzy 

He left her mind, heart tugging at her expression. She had done well, controlling the brain and it's reactions was a difficult task. 

"You did well Seren. Most people don't manage even that until hours in" he told her proudly, stroking her cheek 

"What is the end result? Obfuscating your memories? Only bringing up the bit of truth that doesn't matter?" she asked curiously, rubbing her temple 

Exactly. She could handle this. He nodded as she took a deep breath and asked to go again. More than willing to help her learn to protect herself, he slipped back in. 

They were both stubborn. This could take awhile. But they could both be safer this way. It had to work.


	9. The Triwizard Fallout

he italicized portion of Snape's speech below is verbatim from "the Goblet of Fire." I absolutely did not write it.   
———————

Where was Potter? He didn't return with the others, and the situation was looking dicey. Fleur was found passed out, Krum unconscious, Diggory and Potter gone. 

He and Albus stood together in the stands when his arm began to burn. Not a tingle. A Burn. As if a hot frying pan were placed on it. 

"Albus" he murmured, vaguely holding up his arm, knowing the wizard would understand. 

"We've been infiltrated. We must find them" Dumbledore spoke calmly, the two men descending the stands 

As they walked, Severus' stomach knotted and he forced himself to Occlude his thoughts in practice of what he knew was coming. He couldn't answer the summons. Although Albus knew he was on his side, he couldn't immediately leave. What if the dark lord wanted revenge? Then who would be the conduit between the two? What happened to Potter? He couldn't take the chance that Voldemort had Harry; he would blow his cover. He would have to take the punishment that came from being late. 

Suddenly he looked down at the field, and there was Potter clutching Diggory. Realizing that the other boy wasn't moving, he ran to the field with Albus. Diggory was dead. Harry was bloodied and battered. 

A swell of officials and teachers crowded around them before Albus could get them cleared away. As the crowd thinned, he realized Moody was gone. And so was Potter. 

He and Dumbledore ran to the castle, gathering Minerva along the way. He had to be in the dark arts office. Together they blasted the door open, he watched as the body hit the wall and lay unconscious. 

After retrieving the house elf Winky and the Veritaserum as Albus requested, he listened to the deranged speech of Barty Crouch Jr. Voldemort was indeed back. He became slightly nauseous. But he couldn't face it right now. He had to prepare for what was going to come. 

A long descriptive rant of how Barty fooled them and murdered his father followed, everyone aghast at the audacity of the young man. 

Dumbledore asked him to find Fudge as the rant ended. He swept away without a word. 

—————

Fudge brought a dementor to the castle. He knew what he was doing. Idiot. Now the only living testament other than Harry, to the dark lords return was soulless. Worse than dead. He continued to grow more and more irritated at Fudge as he continued to deny the fact of the resurrection. He refused to see facts. He was weak and afraid. Severus had no time for weak and frail men with no grasp on reality. 

He strode forward, ready to show his deepest shame. To prove that it was real. Fudge gasped, looking on in disgust as the snake writhed in deep black ink. 

"There. There. The Dark Mark. It is not as clear as it was an hour or so ago, when it burned black, but you can still see it. Every Death Eater had the sign burned into him by the Dark Lord. It was a means of distinguishing one another, and his means of summoning us to him. When he touched the Mark of any Death Eater, we were to disapparate, and apparate, instantly, at his side. This Mark has been growing stronger all year. Karkaroff's too. Why do you think Karkaroff fled tonight? We both felt the Mark burn. We both knew he had returned. Karkaroff fears the Dark Lord's vengeance. He betrayed too many of his fellow Death Eaters to be sure of a welcome back into the fold" 

He stepped back, rebuttoning his sleeve. Everyone glancing at the floor as if looking at something obscene. And perhaps they had. But now he was going to use it to his advantage. He was going to right the wrongs. And it may very well kill him. 

—————

"Severus....you are late" hissed the familiar voice of Voldemort. 

He bowed low to the ground, waiting to be asked a question. He didn't want to speak out of turn. 

"Why did you not come right away? Like the others?" Voldemort asked, straightening Snape's body up himself 

"I needed to prove my supposed allegiance to Dumbledore my Lord" he answered, the words believable 

"You sought Dumbledore's permission over my call?" hissed the Dark Lord, sending a wave of pain over his body 

He doubled over, riding it out. Focus on the pain, hide the memories. 

"You didn't take a sentence in the prison for me Severus. You denounced me and hid yourself under my enemy. Why should I keep you alive?" Voldemort questioned, malice on the tip of his tongue

"My Lord, I have served under Dumbledore for nearly fourteen years. He believes me to be saved. He confides in me. I can keep watch over the children of your followers. I could be a valuable tool for you. For your return. Should you have me" Severus answered smoothly, not willing to put forth emotion. 

Emotion only angered the dark lord, logic appealed to him. 

Silence for minutes as the Dark Lord posited

"You would be willing to help me get to the boy, Severus? The child of the woman you once begged me to protect? The woman you lusted after? You would be willing to help me kill him?" 

Allowing Voldemort to see his repulsion to Potter, and the anger and wrath that he poured over him, Severus answered truthfully

"He means nothing to me."

Appearing pleased, the Dark Lord clasped his hands together 

"Very well Severus. You may be my informant. But, I don't think you should get to leave here without a reminder that you serve me first. You didn't choose me first like these other faithful servants did. I think you should be punished." 

He forced himself to save face. He might die tonight. 

"Line up and get in your shot. Don't kill him; I need him alive" Voldemort told them sadistically, a smile lighting up his white face. 

Lucius was first, a hesitant look on his face, a fleeting look of regret before he threw a punch to Severus' gut. The others were not so forgiving. His skin was sliced, punches and kicks, curses, and Cruciatus. He could barely keep himself conscious enough to see through the punishment. If he passed out, they would wait until he woke up to continue. 

"Alright children. That's enough. Severus understands. Send him back to his other master" Voldemort laughed, kicking Severus' wand back to him as he apparated back to Hogwarts. 

He gripped the bars, sending a patronus as he passed out on the ground, the blood stinging his eyes. He envisioned Seren, her head thrown back laughing as he showed her how to brew a pepper up potion. How she kissed him. The way her lips puffed as she slept. He didn't get to tell her goodbye.   
————-

"Severus! You can't possibly leave, you have massive internal damage, you're recovering from several unforgiveable curses!" Poppy fretted as he swung his leg over the bed the next morning. 

"Has Dumbledore been informed that I've returned?" he asked, wincing as his ribs struggled to hold up his body 

"Yes, he checked in last night" Poppy told him, expression horrified that he was trying to walk 

And he didn't stay. Didn't check to make sure he was alive. Only that he accomplished the mission. He felt sick. This was his life now; a simple pawn in a game between two other men. 

"If he asks, feel free to tell him that I made my way home for the summer" he wheezed, summoning his trunk full of potions and herbs that he had packed up days prior. 

He hobbled down to the edge of the grounds. He needed to see her. He landed in her living room, falling to his knees. She might not even be home. She may be out finding a book. He wasn't thinking clearly, his mind was cloudy, but that could also be all the lingering effects of the Cruciatus curse.

"Who's there?!" Seren yelled, charging out into the room, half dressed with her wand out and hair hanging in wet tendrils 

"It's just me" he whispered, not able to get up to greet her, vision fuzzy 

"Oh my god, what the hell happened?!" she cried, dropping to her knees beside him, taking his face in her hands, examining his face. 

He didn't answer, but he stroked her face longingly, truly realizing that he didn't think he would ever see her again. His stomach began to tighten, maybe he shouldn't have come. 

"Severus...show me what happened. Come on" she helped him stand up, walking him to the bathroom. 

She gently undid his robes, biting the inside of her cheek, trying so desperately not to show the horror of what she was thinking. The deepest gash ran from his shoulder, down his chest, stomach, and ending at his hip. Poppy had healed it mostly, but he had left before she could finish the job. 

Seren continued down, taking in the black and blue bruises on his legs, the scratches from where he fell on the grounds. She stood up, turning him around, her fingernails lightly running down his back. Dozens of criss cross scratches and burns. 

Facing him again, he was shocked to see tears pooling in her eyes and splashing down. He wiped away the tears, uncertain of how to proceed. Her face crumpled, but she didn't make any noise. Her tears silently flowed. He had seen her angry: words and fists flying, elated with tears, melancholic, and burning up with passion. 

But tears, over him. The silence was worse than anything she could have said. He couldn't process that. And now, no words seemed correct. Nothing could make it alright. He couldn't explain what happened. Not without putting her in danger. And she knew that. He didn't come here to make her feel badly. Mostly, he came to give her another chance to leave. That it would only get worse. Especially now that the dark lord was back. 

He almost wanted her to leave. It would make more sense. Perhaps he thought this would be the final push. 

She took out her wand, a strong cedar, wiped away the tears from her face, threw her shoulders back, and began healing his still open wounds. Taking note of his trunk, she summoned it over and took out his dittany, dabbing it on softly with a cloth.

"Seren..." he began, tilting her chin up to look at him, but she shook her head, flicking away the tears. 

"Don't" she whispered roughly, voice cracking. 

"Should I go?" he asked feebly as she sat on the floor by his feet 

"No" she told him strongly, walking him back to her bed. 

She nestled in beside him, breath choppy. He held her as tightly as he could without hurting himself. 

"How will I know if you die? If they kill you?" she asked a while later, the sorrow in her voice heavy, she already knew the answer. 

He steeled himself before he responded gently, lips against her ear, his whole body aching 

"You won't"


	10. Vows and Venom

The year passed on, slow and excruciating. He sank deeper into solitude. The need to protect far above anything else. The Order was back together, and he was the most detested member. They needed his information, but they hated him. They didn't bother to mask it. And he couldn't say that he was fond of spending time with Sirius either. He seemed to view Harry as a replacement for his best friend, ignoring all advice from the others to treat him as a child. Foolish. 

Never mind that he was keeping his students safe from Umbridge who was using their ambition to make them appear to be the worst calibre of people in the world. He had to protect his house from her deliberate attempts to sabotage them. Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle falling easily into her power play. He had to protect them from the vitriol of the rest of the school. 

Never mind that he had to keep Potter from being infiltrated by the dark lord, and he was failing miserably. His arrogance and naivety would be the death of him; the Dark lord knew of this connection. He was already implanting memories. Harry's pride and need to be a savior may seem admirable but a little bit of self preservation would go a long way. Not that he would ever take his advice. 

Also never mind that the evil little toad of a woman was now the acting headmistress. He lived by integrity and she had none, stooping to truth serum because she couldn't get answers any other way. He had to find a way to stall her tactics. He hated that she believed some students were better than others purely because of their status. What must she really think of him? She just used him for his potions mastery, just like everyone else. 

He made his way down to Hogsmeade in the brisk spring air. The pocket watch lay heavy in his cloak. 

He sat at a small table, where Rosmerta sent over a fire whiskey on the rocks. He downed it easily and the glass refilled. Looking up to his left, he noticed Minerva sitting with a witch in a royal plum purple cloak and raven black curls. He knew those knee high boots, that cloak, the wild curls that had no order. 

It was just sex now. 

When she returned from her summer trip after the Tournament disaster, she was different. Fully occluded, still brazen and warm, but her lines were clearly drawn. It was as if she lived behind walls of glass and he couldn't get through. Now he understood what it must be like for anyone to interact with him. What it must have been like for her to be with him. Present but not connected. 

It was for the best. 

Minerva noticed him staring, waving at him with a smile. He nodded back, and she continued to wave him over. Taking a deep breath, he knew he couldn't put it off for long. Sauntering over, he sat down beside Minerva and opposite his once friend and lover. 

Her face registered nothing as he sat down. He took note of an old book between them. 

"Severus, this is Ms. Murphy. She has found a book for me that my family has thought lost for some time. A genealogy of McGonagall. It is rather impressive!" Minerva gushed, all smiles as Seren ducked her head in acknowledgment of the compliment 

"Ms. Murphy, this is Severus Snape, my colleague and Potions Master" 

Seren held out her hand expectantly and lied as if they hadn't made love in every room of her home, devouring each other's bodies. Angry, rough sex with no intimacy. Frustration that they couldn't be honest. Fury at all the lies. Discontent at never hearing the full truth. But not willing to give each other up. 

"Nice to meet you sir" 

He held onto her hand, warm and soft. His stomach muscles clenched as he immediately dropped her hand. 

"I must be going Minerva. I'm glad to hear about your book. Ms. Murphy, have a good night" he told the two of them, self control in complete lockdown. 

He waited in a back alley a few streets over. No one ever walked through it, very few even aware of its existence. A dead end with no way out. A fitting place for a tryst. He heard the self assured footsteps of Seren's heels, the sound of several spells began sealing off the alley. He felt himself be knocked against the wall, more of a teasing tap than a real threat. 

"Don't say a word" she jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist, attacking his lips with hers. 

He didn't need to say a word. He just wanted her. No matter what the constraints. He lived under continually tightening boundaries and rules. It was easier for the both of them to pretend they had nothing but physical needs. 

"What would you do to me if I don't comply?" he demanded, spinning her around and shoving her against the wall, biting down on her neck as he slipped his hand under her shirt, cupping her breast tightly. 

She growled, using her legs to pull his hips into hers, unzipping his slacks in one swift motion, firm grip on his already throbbing erection. He groaned loudly, pressing into her hand, their mouths battling and biting for submission. 

She smelled of jasmine and musk. 

With one hand on her breast, he slipped the other into the slick bundle of nerves, smug satisfaction at her gasp. Together, they brought the other over the edge, breathing heavily against the back alley wall. 

"Thank you sir" she mocked acerbically, straightening her clothes as they cleaned up 

"Ms. Murphy" he nodded, disapparating on the spot before they could second guess their choices. 

——————-

The dark lord was back. The papers declared it. He knew it already, forcing himself not to eye roll when so many around him claimed disbelief. The meeting with the dark lord following the ministry take over had been brutal, he was humiliated again by Potter. In front of Dumbledore no less. No one escaped that meeting unscathed. 

He heard a sound in the hallway, annoyance spiking. Wormtail. The dark lord sent Pettigrew there to "assist" him but really it was still a punishment. To make certain that he wasn't double crossing. Not that Wormtail was smart enough to know when he was being lied to.

A knock came at the door. He never got visitors and he told Seren they couldn't see each other for the summer. 

"Narcissa!" he exclaimed curiously, annoyance when he saw Bellatrix trailing behind 

She was scared. Her only son being used as an example to the rest of the Death Eaters, to spite his father. The whole family held up as an example of what would happen if you didn't listen and obey. Public shaming. 

He saw the fear in her eyes at watching her only son be offered up as a sacrifice. Knowing that he would most likely die. His mind flipped to Lily, throwing herself in front of her son. Being the sacrifice. In that moment, he saw a rare love. A love willing to defy anything in order to save the one they valued above anything else. 

And now, she sobbed at his feet, begging him to help her. It wasn't the discomfort at the tears that caused him to look away, it was how deeply they resonated in his soul. She wanted to save a lost boy. What if his own mother had cared enough to do the same? 

How could he turn her down? He was no coward. He needed to save that lost boy. For redemption. For the future. His soul had grabbed onto what love could be and he would fight for it. Even to his own detriment. 

The unbreakable vow. 

———————

Seren

Severus told her not to go back to that house. The manor. But they paid well. And the wife was lonely, she felt bad for her being locked up alone. This time when she entered the sitting room, it was quiet. Too quiet. As if everyone was trying to hide themselves away. 

"Thank you for finding me such good material. It can get rather boring staying in this old house. I didn't tell you before, but I'm Narcissa" the pale woman told her with a shaky smile, like she wasn't used to talking to anyone

"Of course, I enjoyed finding them Narcissa. It's a beautiful home" she told her, not giving her name specifically and hoping she wouldn't notice. 

"My son is back off to school. Do you know Hogwarts? Since you're American..." Narcissa tried to make small talk, sipping her wine. 

"Yes I've heard a lot of things about the school" Seren answered carefully, remembering that this family had severe biases. 

"I know he will be safe there now. Are you aware of what's happening?" Narcissa whispered to her, glancing around and scooting closer 

"In regards to?" Seren questioned, occluding her mind. She had become an expert. 

"The return?" the older woman whispered, a bit of fear in her voice

"I've only read the papers. I don't know what's true and what's a lie" she told her, sensing that the woman needed to vent about something 

"The truth is that it will happen faster than anyone will think. That the dark lord has returned and the plans are swift. I dare not ask your affiliations, it's best we pretend you weren't here. Can you possibly do something for me?" Narcissa asked hopefully, her speech gloomy and sad 

"Maybe. What is it?" Seren asked cautiously 

"Can you deliver this book to Hogwarts, to Professor Severus Snape for me? I'm not allowed to send things from here. I don't want anyone to know I got it for him. It's a gift, he vowed to protect my son. It's not a worthwhile gift comparatively but it's something" Narcissa twisted her fingers, the words spilling out like river water. 

Seren forced her face blank. Severus made a vow? The Vow? She hadn't seen him all summer, he said it was too dangerous. Her thoughts on the subject under lock and key. 

"I suppose I could do that. How will I know who he is?" Seren answered with a shrug 

"Tell him Narcissa sent it. For his gift to my son. What a shame he wasted away all those years pining after that mudblood Lily Potter, he could have made one of our women an incredibly powerful husband" Narcissa explained, the wine helping her words 

"Sounds like a catch" Seren told her with a genial smile, hoping to get more out of her 

"Oh it truly is a terrible story. My husband looked out for Severus. He was such a tiny thing then, old robes and unkempt. No good family. We helped when we could. Showed him the way to use his ambition. To use his cunning. To get the respect he deserved, you see? 

But his friendship with Lily held him back. James and his traitorous friends bullied Severus something awful. Nearly everyday they did something. Lucius hexed them I don't know how many times when he caught them chasing Severus around, knocking him about. Did Dumbledore ever do anything? No because those boys were his precious Gryffindors. 

But Snape loved Lily, for whatever reason. She never cared about Severus, and we tried to tell him. But he didn't believe us. She never cared for him the way he did for her. She chose Potter, even laughed at the things he did to Severus. Then she went and got herself killed. The both of them. The destruction that followed was immense. 

But, truly, it was the best thing that could have happened to Severus. He could move on. And now look at him, second in command in the dark lords army...Any wife he could want, all he needs to do is ask. You will give him that book?" Narcissa rambled, wine glass empty, eyes watery, her skin almost desperate to escape her body. 

She couldn't breathe. The air was gone. That's what he meant by penance. He was atoning for some sin against Lily. Against someone he loved. He was saving her son. He was going to sacrifice himself for her son. And she needed to know why. 

"Of course Narcissa, it would be my pleasure" Seren murmured, looking over quickly at the door, hand slapped over her face in terror as a gigantic snake slithered in with a menacing hiss

"Don't mind the snake. It's patrolling. We have a lot of enemies. I'll go and get the galleons for you. Sit still though, don't give it a reason to distrust you" Narcissa instructed her with a flick of her hand, giving the snake an uneasy glance as she scurried out of the room 

Seren's blood ran cold. The snake circled around her feet, it's tongue hissing and flicking about. It had to be over nine feet long and thick. Easily it could eat her. She stifled a shriek as it worked it's way around her ankle, placing its mouth on her thick boots, real leather, the venom beginning to leak out in copious amounts. She closed her eyes, faced with certain death. 

A hiss sounded from somewhere farther away and the snake immediately slithered out the door. Heaving a sigh of relief, she pulled out her water flask, long since empty, and collected the venom into it. Snake venom was miraculous in remedies. She would give it to Severus. 

Narcissa returned with the sack of Galleons and an invitation to return anytime. Seren thanked her, knowing that she would return there under no circumstances. She had some research to do before delivering the book to "second in command" Severus Snape.


	11. Goodbye, Half Blood Prince

He sat back in his office, barely willing to hope for a moment of peace. Dread weighed down his body, pushing it further into the seat. He just wanted to escape. Forget this whole world. But his deeply ingrained loyalty and pride wouldn't let him. He was no coward. 

Albus was aware of the dark lord's plan. He suggested the idea of killing him in place of Draco as easily as drinking another cup of tea.   
But what about his soul? His soul would be the one torn apart, fractured beyond what it already was, and everyone just kept asking more and more of him. Forever split unless he took the danger of repairing it. Albus was a grand manipulator, appealing to his sense of justice and innate protection. 

And now Draco. He was Draco in his youth. Seeking respect and admiration. But this was the wrong way to go about it. He could try to rectify his past choices. He could try and save the boy. Another boy. Ironically the patron saint of lost boys. Another way to change the future. Vicariously righting his wrongs. 

His soul stretched as if it would split from the sheer pressure. 

The watch lit up for the first time since spring. He immediately grabbed it, Seren's voice greeted him hurriedly 

"Meet me at the edge of the grounds now" 

He agreed, wondering what had brought her to the castle. She preferred to be at her place, on her terms, but the past summer and this year he couldn't afford to be away. He had too much at stake. 

His hardened exterior waned as he walked her into the passageway, a bit of awkwardness between them. A strange ache in his stomach as he reached to hold her hand but missed. Her shoulders tightened, the sway to her hips gone. He stopped her before they entered his office, slipping the cloak off her head, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. He didn't want disconnected sex right now. He needed a reminder that he was human. 

She closed her eyes, exhaling deeply. Stepping in closer, he twisted a curl around his finger, staring into her eyes, the guardedness and steel thoroughly blocking him. Her eyes held a quiet fury, one that he knew so well. It came from hiding your feelings in order to save someone else. 

"Seren..." he whispered her name, long since forgotten on his tongue 

Leaning down he rested his lips over hers tentatively, the barest whisper of a kiss. 

She pushed him away, staring at the ground. 

He shook his shoulders, opened the door to the office, making certain it was clear, then walked her to his chambers, sealing the doors and walls with silencing charms. 

She didn't take off her boots, but she did lay her cloak on the table. Out of her worn backpack, she pulled a book entitled "Rarest Herbs of the Andes" and handed it to him. 

"What's this?" he questioned, flipping through the pages curiously 

"A gift from your friend Narcissa. For performing an unbreakable vow" she answered icily, body beginning to tense 

His heart stopped. How did she meet Narcissa? Then the anger surged. She went back into that manor! She directly ignored what he told her. It was even worse now, the Dark Lord inhabited it. Fear took over but he couldn't allowed her to see it, he couldn't let the memories be tinged with it. 

"You ignored me! You deliberately disobeyed what I said! You went back into that house!" he yelled, breaking his calm demeanor

"You don't get to tell me what to do! And why should I listen to your advice?!" she yelled back, kicking at the chair 

"I told you it wasn't safe!" he yelled in frustration, desperately wishing he could tell her why her life was in danger, the urge to shake her shoulders ran through his hands but he held back 

"But you never told me why! I can't live my life not knowing anymore!" she shot back, arms folded across her chest 

"I told you that you had to trust me!" he snapped back, arms folded too 

"Why should I trust you? You've never once told me the truth!" she accused him, hand gripping her wand 

"That's what we agreed to. That we wouldn't have to tell each other the truth" he reminded her, knowing it was a cop out 

"That was three years ago! I hoped maybe you could learn to trust in me by now..." she explained, disappointment evident 

"It has nothing to do with you. It's all to do with me. You don't tell me more than you have to either. I told you I couldn't give you anything except a physical relationship" he said sharply, reminding her of his limitations. 

Not that he didn't want to give more. He had wanted to tell her everything, to unload the burden on his soul. But it would put her in danger. He desperately wanted a regular life. 

"I know all about your one limitation" she spit out, fingers clenched in her pockets 

One limitation? She couldn't possibly know about Lily. He realized she had been around Narcissa, who had been short on friends as of late and rather gossipy with a glass of wine 

"Please do tell" he urged, his level voice belying his churning stomach, dread that she had found out secondhand, that she formed her own opinions without knowing all the information 

"Lily Potter" she said defiantly, chin jabbed up in the air 

The hair stood up on his arms, palms turned into fists as he gritted through clenched teeth 

"What did you say?" 

"You heard me" she stood her ground, eyes burning with fury 

"You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know anything about her or my life" he growled, allowing the unresolved feelings to block out his memories 

"Were you just using me? Did you think about her the whole time?! Did you wish she was me while you had sex with me?!" she yelled indignantly, biting her lip 

His chest burned when she brought up Lily, that old protective reflex of defending her no matter what had sprung up. She had no way of knowing that he defended her, but it made him feel better just the same. 

Of course he hadn't thought of Lily while they had sex. He knew she wasn't the same woman. Not at all. But he would be lying if he said he hadn't wished he could have had a chance to make Lily happy. But he had to divert her attention. 

"You're one to talk! You didn't want to commit to me either. You used me for your own gratification too" he threw back with a sneer 

"I wasn't the one worshipping a ghost!" she challenged him, hands gripping the chair 

"Stop it Seren! Don't talk about Lily" he stated firmly, hating that she was correct. 

"She didn't care Severus. You know people talk right? It is so easy to manipulate them into talking. I should be ashamed of myself for allowing it" she answered semi smugly, waiting for him to talk back, knowing exactly which button to push 

"Who told you what? Narcissa? Minerva? They're not exactly unbiased opinions" he pushed, mind quickly flipping through who she had interactions with

"Slughorn too. He's a bit of a lush...Couldn't stop gushing about Harry and his mother. Apparently she was perfect, so good at magic, beautiful, had the best friends..." Seren ticked off her qualities, mocking the traits that most people admired 

Was she upset? Jealous? He wasn't tracking along with her train of thought but it was riling up his emotions and he was fighting to keep himself in line. Lily was the first person to treat him like a person, even if it didn't end that way. 

"What's your point?" he asked snidely, trying to push her away before she broke through his walls 

"They said this to the whole bar! Everyone knows about how you followed her like some sort of puppy. It's humiliating!" she continued but he cut her off angrily 

"That's not how it was! She was my friend!"

"Oh really?" she challenged before continuing 

"Why are you putting yourself on the line for someone who didn't care for you? Why are you choosing to do this? Ready to kill yourself for someone who cast you aside like a piece of garbage!" she raised her voice, vitriol and acid flowing out, her face pale and eyes shining 

"Don't talk about her that way! She didn't do that! You don't know anything about it Seren. You sound like a jealous child" he responded defensively, using his teaching voice to try and gain the upper hand 

Her face went from sheet white to rose red. He blocked the nonverbal disarming spell she sent. She casted another one, and another. She wasn't messing around, the strength from her cedar wand was enough to knock him off balance. 

With each step she clearly enunciated each word with deadly force 

"I. Am. Not. Jealous." 

She shoved him with all her might, causing him to stumble backwards. He caught himself on the bookshelf, eyes wide at her physical aggression. 

"Stop acting so ridiculous! You don't know the half of what I live with. What I need to do even if I don't want to" he demanded, getting backed into a corner, sliding down the slippery slope of confession 

"Then tell me! Fight back!" she retaliated, rapid fire spells tossed at him. 

He deflected them, feeling her strength beginning to falter. 

"Jealousy is such a basic emotion. Sneaking behind my back, drudging up my past. Trying to get yourself killed by hanging around with death eaters. Compromising my safety, my cover. There are other ways to get my attention" he stared down his nose at her, working his edge of superiority. 

She let out a frustrated growl and with one last shove, whirled around to leave the room. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. She sent several stinging hexes to his hand; he yelped, hand and arm on fire.

She was a ferocious witch and she wanted him to know she had enough

"If you think I'm jealous of a dead woman who lived her life with all appearances of perfection and no depth, you are sadly mistaken" she told him, voice shaking and cracking 

"Then what's this about?" he asked quietly, trying to calm her down, reaching out to touch her arm 

"Don't talk to me like that! You are willing to give up your life for a memory! When there is someone right in front of you who would die to defend you now! Someone who would run the world forever to keep you safe. Someone who has kept all your secrets and healed your body as it fell apart. And you don't even care!" her words tumbled out, desperate and frustrated 

She had crossed the boundary. And he had too. Now they both had to pay the consequences of getting too close. 

"You think I don't care?" he asked deathly quiet, the fact that she truly thought she was just a conquest unsettled him 

Although it shouldn't. They treated each other as commodities. Never confiding in each other. Merely bodies in passing. 

The vision of her shoulders straightened and purposeful terrified him. She was going to leave. He let his emotion get the best of him. He may have been living for a ghost but the only thing tying him to a new reality was the possibility of a new life with her. 

"Do you think I don't want to be with you? That I don't want to show you off to the world? Tell anyone who will listen that a beautiful and smart woman could stand by me? Hold your hand in public? Live with our minds un-occluded? Live together? Wake up beside you? Not have to put my life on the line for people who don't care about me? Do you honestly think that?" he called to her, wincing at the hurt in his voice

Eyes hard and jaw set she turned to look at him and answered over her shoulder 

"Yes, I do think that. I know what you have chosen. Settling a score with your past. Giving yourself to the boy who has a whole world fighting for him. You can't move forward until you've made peace with your demons. This was my fault. I allowed this to go on for far too long. No matter how sincere my feelings are, they won't change you. Keep your loyalty, it's the only thing you've got now." 

He wanted her too. But he had to keep everyone safe. He had to make a choice. Even if it meant losing her. She would be better off. She could find a man who was whole. His heart ached as if it were bleeding out. He wanted to hold her in his arms, squeeze, and not let go. But he couldn't. The mission came first. 

She set a clear vial filled with murky liquid down on the table and told him, her voice heavy, eyes focused on the ground 

"I don't know what that snake is doing at the Manor, but you need to be careful. Here is its venom but don't ask how I got it. You should brew some anti-venom potion. Keep it with you. Okay?" 

His shoulders slumped, a breath escaping his lungs. Even in her disappointment she was trying to save him. Maybe she was truly acting in his best interest. 

"I will" he murmured, a sharp thrill of terror running through him when he realized how close she had gotten to the dark lord and Nagini. Toeing the line between life and death. She had cheated death and came out on top. Thinking of him even in her possible last moments. 

"We both knew this had to end sometime" she whispered, looking as if she wanted to walk back towards him 

"I know" he whispered back, fighting the urge to run to her, scoop her up, and prove to her that she was his choice. 

"Goodbye Severus" she said without meeting his eyes, leaving the chambers, and descending into the tunnel.


	12. Caught

Seren / October / Sixth Year 

She stormed out of the castle, not taking the time to mask herself. Stomping her way down to the edge of the grounds, upset and embarrassed. A tall man appeared just before the wrought iron fence, a long beard moving in the wind, spectacles slid down his nose; wearing an impish grin, silver robe glittering in the moonlight, extending his hand 

"I don't believe we've met. I'm Albus Dumbledore" 

She gasped, face to face with the headmaster and arguably greatest wizard of all time, certain that she was about to be arrested for trespassing but shook his hand just the same 

"I'm Seren Murphy. The book finder. I was delivering a book to Professor Snape" 

A bald faced lie. But necessary. 

"Intriguing. I wasn't aware of any deliveries. Did the delivery include a raucous row? The portraits in the castle are rather gossipy, especially when it comes to a good fight" 

She blushed, nervous tingling all the way down into her toes. Caught up in a trap. Stupid ghost portraits. Severus had sealed off the potions lab but not his chamber door. They heard through the walls. 

She shook her head no, feeling the sharp prick of Legilimecy. She occluded her thoughts quickly. 

"Ah. I see. Would you like to come to my office for a biscuit?" Albus asked with a wink, letting her know it wasn't voluntary 

Once in his office, she gazed around at the books, and the gorgeous red phoenix in the corner. He flew over to her, nuzzling her neck like a cat. 

"Fawkes likes you. But he senses distress. Is there anything you would like to tell me?" the older wizard asked kindly, setting a plate of cookies down in front of her

Everything about him screamed gentle old man, but she sensed a deep and dark power within. He was dangerous. Everything about her felt as if it were on display. As if he could see and sense all her thoughts and feelings. They certainly didn't call him the best wizard for nothing. She noticed his blackened hand, cursed. 

"I don't have anything I want to tell you sir" she answered honestly, skirting his question. 

"Let me phrase it this way. Why were you really talking with Severus? He is my staff and as such cannot bring unsupervised guests onto the property. Shall I go get him to clear this up?" Albus asked her, light tone belying his intentions. 

She didn't want him to call Severus. He didn't need to know she was still here. Showing off his one vulnerability: their nights together. She sighed, rubbing her forehead. She just wanted to sleep and forget this whole day. Fawkes crowed, nestling onto her shoulder. 

"No! He can't know you found me. Severus and I had an agreement...for several years. We ended it tonight. I can't compete with a ghost anymore" she told him somewhat vaguely, certain that he would understand if he and Severus were close. 

"He has very little control over that portion of his life I'm afraid. He has little control over any aspect of his own life if I'm being genuine" Dumbledore told her sadly, holding onto his blackened hand 

She sat quietly, unsure of how to answer. A moment passed before she questioned 

"Severus said this job was penance. I assume he meant for Lily. Am I right?" 

Dumbledore bowed his head, the years catching up to him in one moment 

"Yes. He is fulfilling many promises on my behest. Tell me, what would you do for Severus?" 

A breath caught in her throat. What would she do for him? The question felt like a dare. He was her best friend. As much as they said it was just sex, over the years it had morphed. He was steadfast, funny, acerbic, and loyal to a fault. She wanted nothing more than to be the only one he stayed with. Even now, fury and regret bubbling in her veins, she knew the answer immediately, effectively throwing herself at this possible sociopath's mercy 

"I will do anything for him. Absolutely anything." 

Albus sat back in his chair, fingertips clasped together, staring through to her soul 

"And what could you do for me Seren?" he leaned forward seeing opportunity, eyebrow arched, long beard curling into his robes 

"I need answers. I'll do anything to help Severus. But I'm not your sheep" she leaned forward as well, setting her boundaries, narrowing her eyes at the master puppeteer. 

"No, you're much better than a sheep. You're a watch dog, running out ahead to warn the pack" he told her calmly, gears clicking into place 

"Answers. Then I'll bark as loud as you want" she bargained, heart racing at the prospect of what lie ahead 

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours" he replied smoothly, bringing over the Pensieve as it began to glow 

"Fine. Memory for memory" she suggested, her hand over the desk 

"Agreed. Now settle in, we have a long night ahead of us. Consider this a dying old mans last act of goodwill" he told her ethereally, a strange smile washing over his face as he shook her hand firmly. 

———————

Her letters were always quick, written in scrawling ink from her hidden positions. Sent to Dumbledore on the leg of her midnight black owl Odysseus. 

"The werewolves are planning a coupe in Belfast. Christmas Eve. The real big ugly one is planning to turn several people. Do what you do." 

"Harry's family are getting nervous. I made friends with the aunt at a local market and remarked in passing that strange things were happening and maybe it would be time for a vacation. Their house was empty two days later" 

"Scoped out several Order meetings. No one notices from the street. No intrusions suspected. Will continue to watch" 

"Watch the snake" 

"Draco is spending a lot of time at Bourgin and Burke. Watched him carry out a small necklace. He said something along the lines of following the plan to his friends." 

"Severus is spending a lot of nights in the tower. Give him reassurance" 

"Hogsmeade is getting restless, lots of gossip about your sanity. Keep abreast of that" 

"It doesn't seem the recruitment has travelled farther than the UK and the edges of France. They're trying to stretch their wings, with little success. Call your people."

"Americans are blissfully unaware of what is happening. Shall we keep it that way? Do you need a whistleblower? Let me know" 

"I found the cave you asked about. Enclosed are it's coordinates. Heavily guarded." 

"Arthur Weasley is safe at the Burrow. There are some threats about his loyalties but he is strong" 

"Meetings at the manor are increasing"

"They are planning the event sooner than you think. Severus hasn't been informed. I hope you get this in time. It's been an honor to work for you" 

————-

She lay awake that night, aware that Dumbledore's plan was being enacted. She spent the school year seeking out his directions, finding out what was happening next, ear to the ground to pass along info to the Order members. No one knew it was her of course. All of her information went straight to Albus. 

Mostly, she just wanted to keep Severus safe. If she did some of this grunt work, maybe he wouldn't have to. It was easy to be discreet when no one knows your identity. Her heart ached as she watched him walk into Order meetings with proud shoulders and walk out looking defeated with his head hung low. 

It burned her insides when she heard them laughing as he left, mocking him, and making fun of him. He was the lynchpin in every single plan and no one cared. 

Whereas when he walked out of meetings with the dark lord, he was distant and grim but held his head high. Perhaps because he knew he was doing the right thing. Her gut coiled and tightened as she watched him walk away alone. She wanted to walk with him, wrap her arm around his waist, comfort him. 

Looking out the window, dread filled her body. A glimmer of hope faded. Despair for the wizarding world settled in her bones. They were on their own now and couldn't fail. 

The Dark Mark loomed ominously in the sky as she swept up her belongings, magically taking down the tent she set up while waiting for the event to occur. She needed to follow Severus, guard him and keep him safe. 

Everything hinged on him now.


	13. Remorse and Reformation

Severus / June / Sixth Year 

He flew to the only place he knew that no one would search for him. The only place he might find some order from Dumbledore. Something that he may have left him. Where to go next. How to fight the physical pain in his chest, his soul ached. His closest friend, confidante, and ally, gone. He had given into his biggest and worst demand: mercy killing. But no one else would know that. He would go down in history as the worst human. A murderer. Twenty years of his life gone. Name forever tarnished. 

The home of his enemy, rival, fellow order member: Sirius Black. The floor was littered with papers and garbage. He made his way to the bedroom which had the highest probability of success, Sirius' room, where he began to look through box after box of old papers. 

Looking through old pictures of the Marauders, the anger surged. But then he came across a letter, signed with love...Lily. A picture of Lily, Potter, and Harry. They looked so happy. Disgustingly so. 

Realization dawned on him. He had taken that away from her. He had been so focused on getting her forgiveness, working his way back into her life, that he didn't think to ask if she was truly happy. 

And she was. Without him. 

He never meant nearly as much to her as she had to him. Her life wasn't revolves around him, rightly so. 

And he took it away. 

He took a mother away from her child. 

A father away from his son. 

A child away from parents who would have raised him well. Throwing the child into an abusive home just like he had....

He missed her, missed the friendship. Realized he threw his life away in the search for respect when it was in front of him the whole time. He wanted admiration when he should have looked inward and healed himself. All those years that Albus asked him if he had felt anything...felt any sense of remorse. He hadn't. He knew that tugged at Albus, who himself lived with continuous remorse for his shortcomings. 

The remorse never came. 

Until now. And the pain tore through him worse than any Cruciatus ever had. He deserved this. Deserved having his soul shredded. But he didn't deserve having his soul pieced back together. How could he continue to live like this? Knowing what he had done? At this point he almost welcomed death. 

The tears flowed as he sobbed, sticking Lily's signature and photo in his pocket. He tried to stand but fell over, the grief lay heavy on his shoulders. He sobbed, tears twenty years in the making, unashamed. 

Jasmine and musk. He straightened up, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. 

"Severus" she whispered, kneeling beside him. 

"Seren?" he breathed out, unable to believe it, his chest aching even worse as she touched his knee

"There are people looking for you. They'll be here soon. We need to hide until your next meeting. Come with me...bring your picture" she told him nervously, looking around for any sign of impending trouble 

"I think I'm dying..." he gasped out, the lightning sharp jabs of pain flying through his body 

"Not if I can help it...hold onto me" she assured him, stretching out her arm 

"Just leave me" he muttered, wanting to give in to the sensation of defeat 

"You're not finished yet! Hey, hey!" she grabbed his face, smacking his cheek as he began to fade into unconsciousness. 

They disaparated, apparating into her cozy little apartment that he missed so much. Away from all the rules and lies that bound him. The warmth immediately surrounded them. 

"I killed him..." he moaned, a fresh wave of sobs wracking his lungs.

"I know..." she answered cautiously, wiping his cheeks with a cold cloth that she summoned from the sink 

"He asked me to. We agreed on it. Albus was going to die anyway...I saved Draco...But no one can know. I'm the most hated man alive and I deserve it" he groaned, stomach whirling with pain and anxiety 

She took off his cloak, and eased his shoes off. He couldn't stop the anger, fear, debilitating weight of grief. How could anyone survive this? 

"I was the one who told the Dark Lord about a prophecy. I was the reason he was going to kill the Potters...Then I...only asked for Lily to be saved. I was a horrible human being and I lived to rectify that. For Lily. I need to save her son...But there's no hope for him. I just have to keep him alive...Until the right time. I need to keep him alive" he babbled, the weight of confession lightening him a little, Seren's fingers pushing his hair back. 

"Oh Severus...I'm so sorry" she muttered, eyebrows furrowed together 

"How did you know where I was?" he asked in a second of clarity, her ovular face coming into focus

"I know more than you think. Did you really believe that I would just leave you to wander alone..." she confessed, holding his hand tightly, cold and clammy 

"I'm a despicable man. It's only going to get worse for me. Worse for you if you stay. You were right to leave" he grimaced as a fresh wave of anguish and pain ran over him 

"I'm not leaving you again. No matter what" she swore, shoulders tensed as his body tightened and rolled. 

"This has to run its course. If I die, please...tell Minerva to show Potter the Pensieve..." he cried out, waves of remorse and embarrassment tearing through him. 

"Anything else?" she whispered, eyes wide and scared. 

"Let this happen" he answered simply, tears falling freely 

He didn't know how long this would take. 

——————-

Hours later and she was still awake, body alert with adrenaline. He told her not to charm him asleep, to let the reparation run its course. His body needed to experience it all. Her nerves were shot watching him in such excruciating pain. The pain of remorse. Of realization of the depth of which his poor choices affected others. The pain of killing someone, even if they wanted it. Spiritual death and rebirth. 

This was ancient and cerebral magic.

She wouldn't be surprised if this killed him. It was nearing three am, and his body was twitching. She could see his heartbeat in his neck. Restlessly flitting about, wordless cries breaking the stillness of the night. Not so wordless screams "Lily, Albus..." 

For three days he slipped between unconsciousness and not, vivid nightmares or death like stillness. She tried to get him to drink when he was semi-awake, but he didn't seem to recognize that anything was happening. Eyes glazed and unfocused, body exhausted and limp. 

She walked around her kitchen, making a cup of tea. Dumping a spoonful of sugar into her mug, her soul perked up as his baritone voice spoke for the first time in days 

"Have you improved on your tea making abilities?" 

Squinting her eyes shut, gripping the cool ceramic tiles, she turned around to face him. 

"I'm afraid I haven't" she told him awkwardly, the space between them vast and rocky 

Staring at him, her gut coiled and tightened like a spring, electricity buzzing through her limbs. It had been so long since she had been around anyone, let alone Severus. She wanted nothing but to hug him. Kiss his lips. But he had to come to her. 

"How long has it been since we've seen each other?" he asked, easing his way across the room cautiously 

"Eight months...almost nine" she replied honestly, knowing the exact amount of days too 

"I've missed you" he whispered softly, the warmth from his body reaching her skin. 

She stared at the floor. He smelled of oak moss and vetiver. Oh god, his pillowcase smelled just like that. Her face buried in his pillow as he made love to her in the mornings. His strong fingers came up to stroke her face. Fire burned down into her toes. 

"I missed you too" she stared up into his eyes, deciding to take the bold route, touching his worry line etched face with the back of her hand 

Leaning down, he whispered into her ear, lips on her skin, hands sliding down to a resting place on her wrists 

"Thank you for taking care of me" 

A shudder ran through her body. Tough exterior be damned. He deserved to see her softness. 

"You don't have to thank me for that" she whispered back, knowing that the second she looked into his eyes, she would be done. If eight months had taught her anything, it was that she wanted no one else but him and it wasn't possible. 

"Look at me" he gently demanded, angling his body to face her. 

She ignored him, stubbornly looking at his socked feet, toes touching. 

"Seren...please, look at me" he requested again, tipping her chin up with his index finger. 

Obsidian black overtook the emerald green. She nearly gasped, the intensity brewing there burning bright. 

"I'm sorry for not telling you" he told her viscerally, his breath coming a little more ragged 

"I'm sorry Severus. I was upset over something you couldn't change. I was wrong" she admitted, the months spent adventuring solo did wonders for her pride...or lack thereof. 

"Please..." he asked simply, opening his arms to her, expression fragile and expectant 

Her stringent will snapped like an old violin string. Launching herself into his embrace, she wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzling in as close as she could, the memories of him falling down around her like snow. 

His embrace was ironclad, as if he was afraid she would disappear from sight, lips resting against the soft dip between her shoulder and neck, breathing deeply in and out, working to calm his frantic heart which she could feel against her chest.

"We've got a lot to talk about, don't we?" he asked a few minutes later, the tips of their prominent noses touching, lips resting a millimeter above hers 

"Yes...But can we just...stay awhile like this?" she asked vulnerably, chest and back physically aching from the amount of desire that radiated through her from his touch 

"Come...We'll start over with the time we have left" he told her gently, walking her over to the bedroom, lighting all the candles with a flick of his wand, secluding them away from the world for one last time.


	14. The New Plan

The tension hung heavy, the anticipation and fear from being apart so long wedged itself between them despite their bodies touching. His inner self stripped bare, new and fresh. This was dangerous. Before, his lack of remorse coated his soul like titanium, the grudge filled with hatred, vitriol, and disgust a solid wall. 

But now, everything lay open, ready to be relearned. Occlusion and meetings would weigh much worse on his body now. But he needed to forge through. Seren lay beside him still and silent, her legs a warm weight across his; exactly the same as so many times before but yet completely different. 

Love was foreign and new, but his entire body nearly floated in it. All the things he couldn't say before but knew, locked deep down away. This was dangerous, but he was already in danger and he had no more time to lose. 

Tentatively, he ran his fingers down her arm. It had been so long since they had touched, kissed, or made love. Fourteen months. The back alley in Hogsmeade. Quick and hidden. What a crude moment to remember. What a cheap effort at a relationship that he needed. She deserved better than that. 

"You're beautiful Seren..." he whispered in her ear 

Her smile grew against his bare chest, the scratch of her fingernails tracing circles on his skin the only sound in the room. 

"I missed your voice..." she whispered, trailing her fingers lower on his stomach, just above the band of his briefs 

He breathed in deeply, skin starved for good touch. He wanted to indulge in her body, make her feel welcomed and loved, reacquaint himself with her curves. But he moved slowly, delicately brushing the soft flesh of her belly under her top. 

"I missed you...all of you" he dropped his voice, seductively kissing her neck, down to her shoulder 

She gasped, body instinctively turning into his touch. 

"I've missed you too...I've wanted you for so long..." she told him breathlessly as he undressed, hands moving from rote memory, lips burning as they tasted her skin. 

"You're dangerous because I want to give into all your desires...Every whim and tempest" he teased, shivering as the air hit his bare legs, pants and briefs magically summoned away 

She groaned as he ran his hands over her breasts, familiar and new all at the same time. She leaned up, kissing him fully for the first time in over a year. The newness of his soul burst open, rolling in the revelatory joy of her touch. She knew just how to touch him, a gentle nip on his lip, slip of the tongue, a moan as she stroked his length. 

"Can anyone else touch you this way" she asked beside his ear, jealousy coating her voice like honey 

He allowed his head to rest against the pillow as she straddled his hips, holding her gently, the same freckles spread across her nose, eyes glowing green with desire. Desire for him. 

"Only you" he whispered, stroking her face as she eased herself over him 

She groaned, tilting her head back as they moved together, slow and methodical, taking their time, eyes never breaking contact. Swiftly, he felt himself tumbling over the edge, wishing for it to continue longer but unable to hold back. 

Laying beside him, he made certain to bring her close, gently easing open her body with his strong and broad fingers, slowly bringing her to orgasm, she cried out his name, burying her face in his chest, inhaling deeply the sweat and cologne. 

As their breathing returned to normal, the push behind his chest became impossible to ignore. No matter what would come, he couldn't live without this being spoken out into the world. 

"Seren?" he sat her up, silk sheets wrapped around her muscular frame, curls haphazard and wild around her face, lips puffed and raw. 

Unadulterated beauty. 

"Severus?" she questioned with a nearly imperceptible smirk 

"I love you. I love you so much...Words fail to communicate the depth of my affections..." he stated, holding her hands in his. 

She grinned, leaning across them, kissing him deeply 

"I love you too. I've always known...I suspect you've known for a long time too" 

He nodded, holding her tightly, fear of losing the moment overwhelming. 

"I'm going to have to become someone that you won't like...We need to be honest with each other about our intentions, and those consequences" he told her ominously, kissing her temple. 

"I'm not leaving. I understand the risks" she stated plainly, squeezing his hands 

"Please, hide. Go stay with your family, or somewhere other than here. Wait it out" he pleaded, unable to bear another loss 

"You know I can't do that. I won't hide. I need to know you're safe too" she argued back, eyes narrowing 

"I can't bear to lose anyone else" he muttered a bit embarrassed, but knowing that it needed to be said 

"I won't stay hidden Severus. You know that" 

"You can't just do that one thing for me? Just stay hidden?" he nearly begged, no anger just fear 

"No. Because I need to see you're safe too!" she exclaimed

His heart broke a little more at the sincerity in her voice. Even if no words or vows were ever spoken, he realized what their relationship had truly been. He needed to give it a voice in this moment or else it would slip away like all his other chances. 

"All of these years and look at what I've lost: all means of having friends. No family. But I found you. And you are my best friend. Companion. Confidante. We could have made a life together in the time that I've had. I've taken the worst advantage of you" 

She shook her head defiantly, grabbing his hand, kissing his knuckles before giving him an annoyed shove 

"No you haven't. You haven't done anything to me that I haven't allowed. That I haven't agreed to. That I haven't perpetuated. Your plans were bigger than just us Severus. I understand that now. I was being selfish."

He laid back on her bed, a few frustrated tears leaked out. They had used each other in the worst way. 

"I have a plan" she told him confidently a few minutes later, her voice mischievous 

"What kind of plan?" he asked curiously, her proud expression intriguing him 

"I've owl-ed Minerva, and told her that I heard about what happened. That I want to help them fight. She very willingly obliged me, because she felt like it is a one up on you. That she has one other person to fight against you. But I'll know you're safe. And you'll know that I am too" she laid out a plan, already set in motion. 

A double agent just like him. How many more people would get pulled into this intricate web? He sighed. Her mind was made up and he knew he couldn't ask her to hold back. That wasn't who she was and he wouldn't want her to be any other way. 

"You've already planned this out, huh?" he asked lightly, allowing a small smile 

"I told you, I wouldn't leave you wandering" she assured him, kissing his cheek 

"It's going to have to be a very convincing act Seren. You need to sell it, no matter what" he warned her, not certain that she fully understood what was going to happen 

"I think I have some memories to dwell on to make it believable...Trust me to help you" she told him strongly, laying them back down on the bed again. 

"You will not like who I have to become. No one can know. Even if I'm in danger you cannot give up your cover. You understand that this could get you killed?" he asked seriously, tilting up her chin 

"I do. But this is bigger than just us and I'm willing to sacrifice whatever I need to so that your efforts aren't in vain, the memories can be laid to rest and those kids win their battle" she answered just as seriously, face set in determination 

He sighed. He didn't want her to take on his burden but he had to admit it felt better to have someone trust him this way. To lighten the load. Even if they had to hide it. He could do this. Love would keep him human as well as possibly kill him. 

They would have to take the risk.


	15. The Battle Is Won

The parts in italics are verbatim from "The Deathly Hallows." I didn't write them.   
———————

"Carry it with you. All the time. Swear" Seren wrapped a small vial of anti venom around his neck and under his shirt as she buttoned it up. 

The chances of him getting caught with anti-venom were low, no one tried to get close enough to him to see it. She carried several vials with her too, as well as a bezoar stone, and several healing potions. He was a target and she could easily become one too. 

"I promise I will. Remember what you promised me?" he asked, kissing her deeply, the weight of the world on his chest. 

"Yes, but I don't like it. But I'll do it" she assented quickly, laying against his chest for a brief moment before stepping back. 

"You should be safe inside the library. Keep your head down. No unnecessary attention. Please?" he told her, stroking her cheek affectionately 

"Okay" she whispered, the confines of the rules already strangling her free spirit. 

Love sometimes had to endure hardship. 

"I love you" he tilted her face up, hoping that would soften the blow of his strict rules. 

He just needed to help Harry fulfill the plan. 

"I love you too" she told him with a sad smile, dropping the anti venom vial down into her blouse on the string. 

———————

His welcome back speech had been anything but welcoming. Fear, loathing, disrespect. The children kept their eyes down at the table. The only ones to stare at him, the ones willing to defy him, were the members of Dumbledore's Army. They believed him to be ignorant of their meetings and dealings, but he knew the truth. He kept away the Carrows and other cronies so they could continue to practice unimpeded. 

The weight of a few hundred angry stares should have been nothing, but now it killed him. Those children didn't deserve to live in fear but yet he had to perpetuate it. 

Seren walked straight past him after dinner, her arm within Minerva's as they watched the student scurry back to their dorms. He wanted to unclip her curls and watch them flutter around her face. Push her against the wall and kiss her neck. No. Hide that away. 

He had to accept her anger. 

The halls were quiet now, not filled with merry chatter. He never thought he would miss that. 

"Excuse me" he called out to her, knowing that Minerva would take offense to anything he said

"Yes, headmaster" Minerva spoke sharply, gazing at him with barely veiled contempt. 

"Miss Murphy. You will follow the rules to their exact letter. You may be new here but you will not be spared from discipline. Any whiff of opposition to our new leadership and you will be turned over to the Carrows. Understood?" he spoke quietly and threateningly, looking down at her along his nose 

Seren nodded, exchanging a quick glance with Minerva as he stepped closer and asked again in a rumbling bass 

"You will answer your superior. Understood, yes or no?" 

She squared her shoulders and answered in a candy coated tone that could cut glass 

"Yes sir. I understand" 

He told her threateningly, standing straighter to appear intimidating 

"Minerva might have hired you without my knowledge but believe me that if I hear one whiff of dissension from you, you will be tossed out and left to fend for yourself. Now straighten your robes, you will dress according to the guidelines set forth. Right now you are out of compliance" 

She nodded, chin still up, buttoning her robes up to her neck and straightening the sleeves before answering smoothly 

"I understand perfectly well"

Minerva's expression could burn down a house. He raised his eyebrow at her but she shrugged her shoulders and dragged Seren down the hall. 

Taking in a deep breath, he made his way to the office to speak to Albus.

———————

He waited in the woods, watching as Potter trekked down the hill to receive the glowing sword. The portraits may be gossipy, but at times that trait came in handy. 

He continued to watch as Potter dove into the water to retrieve the sword. He grew worried as the boy didn't resurface and the water began to show signs of a struggle. Just about ready to dive in himself and deal with the memory later, Ron came running down the hill following a ball of light and dove in, pulling out a gasping and shivering Harry. 

The sword was beside him. 

After watching to make certain he was alright, he disapparated back to the grounds. 

Seren sat in their bed, reading a book. He has charmed the fireplace in her room to directly connect to his to avoid suspicion. 

"Well?" she asked conspicuously, knowing what had to be done after Severus decided to tell her 

It wasn't an easy decision to share the plan. But at this stage in the game, every action had the same result: do or die. And should he die, Seren deserved the closure to find his body and bury him as she saw fit. 

Also, to continue out the plan. She would inform Minerva as well and the two of them would get Harry through to the end. He knew they could do it. They had to. The end simply couldn't be his death. There had to be vindication. The small glimmer of hope thrived on. 

"Yes" he answered shortly, sinking into the bed beside her, the chill from the winter air rolling off his clothes 

"Good. Shall I read to you?" she asked tenderly as he switched into his nightclothes.

"Please" he answered back, allowing her voice to surround and soothe him. 

——————

Seren

"The dark lord will turn on Severus. Believe me. He will not share the spotlight with anyone. The battle is coming Seren. Be vigilant. And once it is over, flee. Do not allow yourself or Severus to hold to any loyalty here. He has long suffered for this school, he needs not continue that" Albus spoke to her from his portrait that night. 

Severus was in a meeting with the Carrows and she had snuck up the spiral staircase to receive the last batch of instructions before the battle. 

"Thank you sir" she answered gratefully before quickly exiting and making her way down to her room. 

The students were scrambling, knowing something was on the horizon. The heavy weight of anticipation hanging over the school. The culmination of years worth of effort and painstaking detail ready to come to a close. The year spent in tenuous silence and fake animosity. Desperate love making to prove that he wasn't an animal, that he was capable of love. The constant pull between being too tired to sleep and not able to sleep enough. 

It would be done soon.

———————  
Seren

"Stay here. The Carrows say Potter is in the Ravenclaw Tower. I mean it Seren. This is it. You promised that you wouldn't try to save me. Let me do my job" he told her harshly, wand in hand. 

Her mind warred with her soul. She damn well wouldn't just stay here. She would fight no matter what. It would just take a little crafting. 

"I'll do what I need to" she answered, skirting around his instructions 

He cut his eyes at her before wrapping her in a bone crushing hug, kissing her intently 

"I love you. Don't forget" 

She kissed his hand as he turned to leave 

"I love you too" 

He shut the door and she dressed herself magically, the bezoar stone in her pouch, dittany, all types of healing potions, and the anti venom around her neck. 

The school was in chaos, students running to hide, confusion at what was happening. Making her way to the Ravenclaw tower as Minerva came flying down the stairs with Harry and several other professors. 

Severus was gone. The plan was in place. 

"Seren! Help us! We need to secure the castle, the dark lord is coming. Gather all the students to the great hall" Minerva commanded her as she threw around spells, the statues springing to life

It would have been valiant and beautiful if she hadn't been terrified that Severus was possibly being murdered. She followed the instructions, calling out for everyone to the Great Hall, sleepy faced children emerging from the common rooms. Just babies. Eleven years and about to die. In a war that they knew nothing of and had no reason to be part. 

Minerva called out the evacuation plan, all those underage must go. Running over to Madame Pomfrey, she asked if she could help get the children to safety to which the older woman readily agreed. 

A high pitched voice cut through the air, sending a shiver down her spine. The dark lord. 

"Give me Harry Potter and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter, and I shall leave the school untouched. Give me Harry Potter, and you will be rewarded. You have until midnight" 

A young girl from Slytherin pointed out Harry, ordering her friends to grab him but as she did several hundred other students with wands at the ready jumped in front of him. Ready to defend. Tears sprung to her eyes. The boy with the world ready to save him. But her Severus with no one to believe his every action done to save the boy as well. 

Minerva ordered the Slytherins and all others out to the evacuation point, which was in the room of requirement. She held onto their hands, reminding them to keep their wands out. Several were crying, afraid of the unknown. Afraid for their lives and all that they knew to be good and true. 

An older man stood there, watching as the bar was flooded with children. She stared openly, he had to be related to Albus. 

"Do it fast. I've got charms in place to keep them hidden but it won't hold for long. They're sitting ducks" he called out as the students were disapparated quickly, the three of them not tiring with the adrenaline coursing. 

"Go back to the castle, I will return soon. I'll make certain there are no Snatchers or Death Eaters" Seren told Madame Pomfrey and Filch who nodded, climbing back through the tunnel. 

"You've got your own plan, eh?" the man, who she heard called Aberforth asked her gruffly 

"Yes. Will you stop me?" she asked him gently, not wanting to duel with a wizard who had just helped to save hundreds of children. 

"Are you one of them?" he asked, pointing at her arm 

She held it up, shaking her head and spilling out angrily

"No I'm not. But, I'm not willing to fight for a system that continually ignored its most endangered students. The ones who needed protection but didn't receive it. The ones who were manipulated for years for love. I'm going to save them now. Hogwarts will hold. They will not" 

He sat back, her argument obviously striking a chord. He held up his arm, motioning for her to leave 

"Good luck. We'll need it" 

Running out into the deserted street, she saw no one and disapparated on sight. The Death Eaters were gathering at the boundaries. That's what Minerva had said. That's why they funneled the students out of the Hogs Head. She focused all her might on a concealment charm, having practiced it for the better part of the school year. 

Where would Severus be? Heart racing and mind spinning, she forced herself to calm down. Seclusion. The dark lord needed his followers alone. She remembered a small boat house, and disapparated there. Performing a silencing charm on her feet, she creeped up to the edge of the wall, and with a heavy thud of her heart, saw the snake. 

Nagini. 

It slithered around a thin and terrifyingly pale...dare she call him a man? The dark lord. How Severus spent time with him and still retained his humanity only proved to her how deeply good his soul was. He had to resist his power grabs and tyrannical ideology. 

"The Elder wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not it's true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot be truly mine" 

"My Lord!" she heard Severus protest, watching as he raised his wand

Kill him! Do it now! She screamed in her mind, willing Severus to take aim at the dark lord. 

"It cannot be any other way" said Voldemort

"I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last" 

He slashed at the air with his wand, and she watched in horror as a cage fitted itself around Severus upper body. Everything in her was screaming to charge in there, to save him. But she had to follow the plan. Looking over to the other side of the boat house, she could barely see three distinct figures. 

Harry was watching too. 

"I regret it" said the cold and almost disembodied voice before an otherworldly hissing sound came from the dark lord as Severus' screamed. 

The snake lunged at him, fangs sinking into his throat. She gripped the wall to keep from moving as she watched him fall to the ground helplessly. His life as a double agent catching up to him as hard as the rocks upon which his knees cracked. 

Her whole body on fire as she watched his blood flow out. She only had minutes after this to save him. Determination and will. Love and necessity. She focused on these as the dark lord left, flying up with the damned snake to the castle. 

Channeling the spell, vulnera sanentur, she prayed it was enough to keep the blood flowing into his body as Harry, Ron, and Hermione approached him. 

The light escaped his eyes, floating up like a silvery mist, tears falling. Bits of his soul being freely given. 

"Take...it" Severus gasped, as Harry encapsulated the memories. 

Hurry up Harry! Her thoughts pushed to the front of her brain, as if this could make the teenager move faster. 

This was Severus' dying offering. To prove that he wasn't evil. To prove his goodness and worth. Even if Harry may die, at least one other person would know of his honesty. 

"Look at me" Severus whispered, as his body went slack. 

Shock. He was in shock. He wasn't dead. She knew that. It had to be true. There was no blood puddle around his body. The spell was working. 

The three stared in disbelief before snapping back to their senses and running up to the castle the way they had came. 

Foregoing all personal safety, she ran over to him, body limp and wet with blood. She chanted the words, watching as the blood flowed back into his body. It was still full of poison but it needed to circulate before she could give him the anti-venom. Reaching into his collar, she saw his was empty. 

He had taken it before his meeting. He knew. She poured the potion from her vial down his throat, performing rudimentary compressions on his chest to pump the blood; desperately hoping she wasn't too late. A minute passed, as her hope began to dwindle, his eyes flickered open. 

He was alive. 

"Severus! Oh god, you're alive!" she whispered, stopping the compressions and opening his mouth for a blood replenishing potion. 

She wished she had made more of those. She only had one on hand. The poultice of dittany slathered on his neck, as she glanced around. No one dared enter here. 

"We need to go! Right now" she whispered, taking hold of his hands 

He shook his head, pointing to the castle 

"No! You will not fight. They'll kill you! They don't know yet what you've done" she told him viciously, knowing his strength was too weak to perform any magic, let alone apparition. 

"Whatever happens now, it's out of your hands. You've done your part. Albus told me to flee. His orders" she divulged, hoping he would believe her

Furrowing his eyebrows, his lips mouthed 

"When" 

She sat him up slowly so as not to rush the blood to his head

"Two days ago. I have so many things to tell you. But now, you have to trust me. And believe me when I say, it is done. You don't owe anyone anything." 

He closed his eyes, trying to take in a deep breath before nodding, squeezing her hands tightly. And with a pop, they disapparated. 

——————

He awoke to find himself in Seren's bedroom, uncertain if he was still alive or dead. The burning in his throat made him believe the former. The air smelled of coffee and vanilla. He listened as several female voices floated into the room 

"You can't just show up unannounced Mom!" Seren grumbled angrily, the sound of wheels rolled across the hardwood floor 

"I thought it would be a nice surprise! I didn't know your friend would be here" another American voice tinged with amusement cut in 

"You don't know what you're walking into..." Seren's voice gave out, exhausted and worn 

What day was it? What happened to Potter? Surely they couldn't be speaking so calmly if the dark lord had taken over? And where did Seren actually live? His thoughts jumped around like frogs, struggling to make sense of the timeline. 

"Eadoin and I don't mind if he's living with you! We have yet to meet him, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind meeting us finally. Because if he did I would have a few choice words!" her mother rambled on 

"Yeah, where is he? I want to see what he looks like!" a third unknown voice piped up, filled with laughter 

Muggle innocence. Unaware that they had entered into the home of two people who had just fought in a war and survived. Into the home of two people who spent the last four years fighting an impending uprising. Two people who had seen death and spades and conquered it. Completely ignorant of how the world around them might have changed; how it was still swiftly changing. 

He looked down at his clothes, realizing that they had been changed. No longer blood soaked. How long had he been asleep? He glanced at the side table, a copy of the Daily Prophet sat there. Seren didn't normally read that. Perhaps she had placed it there for him? Tentatively reaching out, he picked it up, his joints sore from lack of use. 

"Dark Lord Defeated! Harry Potter Victorious!" 

The moving photo underneath the headline showed Potter amongst the staff and several members of the Order. They were not smiling but they looked proud. Haunted. He knew the feeling. Lily could rest now. Her son was safe. 

They had won. And Potter was alive. It hadn't been in vain. None of it. 

"I'll go check, he may be asleep. Don't come in" Seren told her mother sharply, making her way into the darkened room and closing the door. 

"Severus? Are you awake yet?" her voice squeaked out, timid and afraid to hope. 

Waiting until she reached the edge of the bed until he spoke up, he thought of what to say but came up with nothing reassuring. 

"Do I have to meet your mother? I may be asleep" he whispered hoarsely, unable to stop the sarcasm 

It was innate. 

She gasped, launching herself onto the bed, gripping his face in her hands, eyes welling up with tears as her lips rested gently on his. 

"I bet you wish that snake had killed you now" she managed to tease back a few minutes later, holding him tightly in a hug, afraid to let him go. 

"As long as we can be together, I will do whatever it takes. I love you" he told her with a smile but not before reminding her 

"You have a lot to account for, as I remember. A whole year in fact..." 

She grinned, kissing him deeply

"I'll tell you everything. But first, you must get through one more challenge: my mom and sister" 

"I think after the dark lord, this will be simple" he rolled his eyes, normalcy a foreign concept to him 

"We'll see...I love you so much" she murmured, voice catching in her throat 

"I love you too. Bring on my next challenge" he teased, the world foreign and new but lighter and exciting. 

Hopeful. He was hopeful.


	16. All Good Things

"Welcome home" Seren wrapped her arms around his waist as they unpacked their belongings, ready to settle back into home after being abroad for a week selling books and potions

Home. A small apartment with thrifted and vintage furniture, floor to ceiling books and herbs, seated above their shop entitled "Books and Brews." Muggles and magical folk alike flocked to the quaint shop where they specialized in "eclectic" books and homeopathic remedies. Or potions as the wizards called them. Hidden and thriving amongst the eccentric and ancient magic of the French Quarter. 

"I'm happy to be home" he kissed her forehead, holding her tightly, body languid inside her embrace, the memories of the past ten years bonding them together 

Life was easy and full. Adventure in turn but mostly blessed security. 

The moment quickly ended when the excited shrieks of their five year old twin girls Acacia and Hazel rang through the apartment, the stomping of excited feet tearing into the room. 

"Daddy!" they yelled simultaneously, hopping onto the bed, and then flinging themselves onto Severus' body, latching on like magnets 

He broke out into a grin, squeezing them tightly, spinning around, their tiny legs spread out like wings. The giggles erupted, cherub faces glowing with happiness. 

"Did you miss me?" he asked seriously, raising his eyebrow 

"Yes!" they chirped, arms around his neck like miniature lassos 

Seren smiled, the joy that emanated from the three of them flowed down like a geyser of spring water. Severus had been terrified when she got pregnant; ruminating for the whole nine months on how he had no framework with which to be a father. That he would ruin everything with his zero experience at family life. 

But, the second those girls were laid in his arms, a fierce protectiveness and devotion formed unlike any she had ever seen. The four of them cuddled up in their own corner of the world. Four explorers grounded in a loving home. 

"Oh mommy! I missed you so much my heart could explode!" Hazel gasped, wriggling down from Severus' arms, clutching at her heart when she suddenly realized that there was another adult in the room

"Well it's a good thing we came back" Seren teased back, squeezing her daughter tightly, wispy light brown pigtails brushing her cheek 

"Nana said you weren't coming back until tonight but you're home early!" Acacia explained their exuberance, hopping down from Severus' to give her a hug too 

Her mother and sister jumped at the chance to gain a fresh start after the war. Not that they knew it had happened. But, she and Severus needed a place to lay low, and what better than a town full of tourists, never the same people for long. Magic in plain sight but never noticed. 

Surprisingly, Severus and her mother got along like old friends. She never questioned it, but rather chose to muse at the odd pairing of a bubbly bleached blonde who served her rigid and quiet partner margaritas on Wednesday nights, as well as the fact that he seemed to enjoy them. 

She worried sometimes that perhaps she was stealing a bit of his life: the necessity for true freedom. Being able to walk around unafraid of discovery. He assured her it was a tiny price to pay for the peace of mind that he now had.

He said he was happy to live under the radar, no one knowing his real name, in spite of the fact that the papers had exonerated him but he chose not to return. They refused to declare him dead, simply circulating his picture a few times a year; asking for him to return. 

He rolled his eyes and tossed the paper when that happened. 

"We missed you too much, we had to come home early" Severus explained with a tilted smile, sending two chocolate frogs over to their chubby hands

They shrieked in delight. Five year olds spun about the world in a whirlwind of joy, sass, and tears. 

Acacia was the more thoughtful twin; detail oriented and precise with her words. Often silent for hours at a time, reading books after having taught herself to read at age three, taking in the world around her, she mimicked Severus not only in her dark looks but also in her calculated mannerisms and soft moods. 

Hazel tended to fly through life on adrenaline and emotion. Not a thought passed through her mind that they didn't hear about, every feeling flew through her miniature body at the speed of sound and she didn't miss a single nonverbal exchange between anyone. Hazel could have been Seren's own carbon copy, from the wild hair down to the high feet arches and crooked toes. 

They both clapped giddily, snatching the frogs out of midair and chowing down on the floor. 

The real reason they were back a day early was because of a rather large potion order that was due two days later in conjunction with a first edition of "The Beetle and the Bard" which she had spent months tracking down. 

"Mommy? Did you bring me a new book?" Acacia asked her hopefully as Hazel dragged Severus out into the living room to see her newest painting. 

Seren peered down into her deep brown eyes, hopeful and excited at the prospect of knowledge. She never came home without a new book for Acacia and a piece of art or jewelry for Hazel. 

"Of course I did. Want to read it?" Seren told her carefully, kissing her forehead, pulling out a small book of Norse fairytales. 

"Can I read it to you?" the small girl asked, already knowing the answer as she began to read aloud the fine print on the time thinned pages, settling into the soft cushioned papasan chair in the corner of her bedroom. 

———————

Seren savored the feel of his fingers roaming over her skin, the freshness of new sheets and familiarity of their bedroom adding to the experience. She pulled him down to kiss his puffed lips, his thick fingers deftly bringing her to a quick climax, knowing exactly where and how to touch her body. 

"Your turn Master Snape" she murmured seductively in his ear, the tried and true ego stroke still effective to this day 

Easily slipping over his hardened body, he held her hips, smirking as she rode him, head thrown back in enjoyment. 

"I love you Seren" he groaned as he came, freezing in place, their bodies wrapped up in arms and legs. 

"I love you too, forever and ever" she grinned, kissing his cheek sweetly, not willing to let him out of her grip just yet.  
———————

"Sprinkle in the mugwort slowly...very good. Gentle stir to the right...Crush up the ladybug shells, exactly like that" Severus was patiently instructing Acacia on how to brew a fly repellant while Hazel draw with crayons on the floor on a magical sheet of paper that made everything she drew come alive with movement. 

Seren smiled over the top of her book, feet up on the countertop as she waited for the afternoon swell of customers. She leaned back in the chair, watching the two of them brewing in the back room while Hazel charmed customers in the front with her stories and artwork. 

She didn't notice when a small tabby cat slinked it's way through the open door, taking note of her, cautiously peeking its head around the corner, watching Severus and the girls intently for a few moments. The cat sat quietly hidden in the corner for a while, watching as Severus laughed with his children and kissed his partner, his countenance light and free. 

The tabby exited the door into a back alley, transforming back into an older witch in a full length dress. A young man with circular glasses and a vague scar walked up to her expectantly. 

"All is well. We can stop looking now. He deserves a quiet life" the older woman told the younger man, summoning their brooms to them from the darkest corner of the alley. 

The young man nodded, a contented smile crossing his face as they flew up and away. 

The half blood prince was finally home. 


End file.
